Backwards

Epiphany.  Light bulb moment.  Whatever.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have much on my plate and minions who defy me (for their own pleasure?) at every turn.  I used to be very on top of ot, but never made time for myself.  Then I went back to work, and REALLY never made time for myself.  I put everything into my job and let home fall apart because I had no control over home.  Then work went to hell in a hand basket and I have spent the past 3 years just trying to stay afloat and not turn into a raging alcoholic.

Today, as I was driving home from a Boy Scout drop off (did I mention the 2 am panic attack?)  I realized I have it backward.  If can take care of myself first, everything else should fall into place......We'll see.  I just know I need several things in order to function better: exercise, clean food, routine, rest and peace.  Clean food is resolving itself for the most part, and the introduction of routine and a schedule will make it a solid habit.  Routines will fix most of my issues...... I used to live by a schedule. Somewhere I stopped, and I stopped functioning.

I've been writing it for years- what I want to do, what I need to do.  But I was not sure how to make it happen.  But I realize that I am the the trying to hold it together while those around me try to beat it down.   It starts with me, and I will have to be a willow in the storm.  I had it backwards and was all wrong.

Or maybe I can be a whomping willow instead.....

Money Well Spent

Zachary made me do it. I had a coupon.  And it was on super-sale- I think I only paid $10 for the dispenser plus soap.  I've had it since June and am still using the original soap.....  the thing I like best?  I know the top is not covered in raw chicken.  I cannot STAND touching a soap dispenser that I KNOW is tainted.  Just. Can't. Do. It.  So yes, if you see me leaving a public rest room, chances are I did not use soap.  Truth.  I have hand sanitizer for that.  And I know that whatever lurks on that soap is nastier than anything else I may have just touched.  

SO, if you don't have one of these in your kitchen and you are OCD, I highly recommend you pick one up.  And the Mandarin Orange soap smells yummy.

Good Intentions

My last post was about detoxing my kids.  I still very much want to do that.  I have not been successful. Zachary did a month with no processed food (he had some slips, but that's ok)..... he felt better and his stomach problems disappeared.  Now the symptoms are back and I'm more convinced than ever he needs to be gluten free.  SO hard because it is in everything.  And he loves bread.

Helen is the bigger challenge.  On one hand, she wants to be healthy and knows we are right about processed foods.  Then somethings clicks over and she wants Oreos and pizza.......  So, I need to find a way to make it work.  I've been trying for years and coming up with nothing.  Plus all this darn ice/snow/freezing temps are getting to me...... haven't been to the gym in a month!

So another big part of my problem is alack of schedule and order.  I have kinda given up trying to have a routine and a clean house because it has felt like fighting a losing battle.  But I know I need to put on the big girl panties and be the adult, even if everyone hates me for it.  No more hitting the snooze bar and staying in bed until the last minute (because this cheats me out of time to take care of dishes and have a clean living room).  And an amazing thing happened yesterday.  I scrubbed the kitchen and my child commented on it and put all his dishes in the dishwasher!!!!!!

And clutter- OH MY GOD, the CLUTTER!  I know you cannot organize clutter.  You end up just moving it around, but I have not been on top of it for some time now and it has taken on a life of its own.  Recently I painted Helen's room. When we did this,I packed up everything and took it from her room.  We only put back the things she wanted to keep.  I set up a 4 cube unit next to her bed to serve as a night stand and storage for her art and camera supplies.  I purchased a rolling cart for her lotions, perfumes, etc.  I organized her jewelry and clothes- I think I need to specialize in setting up functional spaces for the unfunctional, lol.  It has been so easy to keep clean.  The only room in the house, mind you, but got to start somewhere.