Every mom

...(and the occasional dad) knows exactly what I mean....... You feel kinda bad about it, but you have to do it. You MUST throw away that picture your son drew on a paper towel. You have to donate that "favorite" toy that has not been touched since preschool (and the child is now in the fifth grade). You don't care if the sneakers till fit- the fact that if you 7 year old takes them off in the car you gag and roll down the windows...... you MUST throw them away........

But you are tossing pieces of their childhood- they cry, get their feelings hurt, say how mean you are....... But if you don't do some weeding every now and then, you will lose your sanity (as well as 75% of your home)....... I guess that is the real reason black trash bags were invented.......

stuff

I get up at 5 AM. Sometimes earlier, if I wake up on my own. Today, the day I needed to get everything in order and out the door because I did not plan ahead- I slept until 6:20. And we still left EARLY. How did that happen?

After school I went to Target (alone!). Left with 7 pounds of candy, one huge assed jug of laundry detergent, 12 rolls of toilet paper, a new tooth brush and BOOTS!!!!!!!

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1. It's almost Halloween.

2. Didn't do nearly the things I have done in the past.

3. Kinda sad about it really.

4. It doesn't even feel like fall, any way!

5. Tired. of. humidity.

6. Field hockey/soccer season is complete..... am I glad?

7. Maybe I can get caught up with everything, finally!

8. Started planning our class Jesse tree and Advent wreath today!!!!

9. There is no Halloween stuff at the grocery store now- but plenty of Christmas candy and decorations.

10. Why do I always feel as if we are living one event to the next?

11. Should we really pressure ourselves this way??

12. I am planning a very low key Christmas this year.

13. And all I want for Christmas is a trip to Georgia......

Need...

to meet with teachers again. Helen is starting into her bad habits again. She is not writing down things, forgetting her books and papers, losing things...... It would help a lot if the person that is supposed to help her would do her job. I am getting tired of this. If it wasn't coworker I'd have gone nasty mama on her by now.......... maybe now is the time!

I wish.......

1. I wish someone thought I was beautiful.

2. I wish someone thought I was amazing.

3. I wish someone would take care of me for a change.

4. I wish I knew then what I know now.

5. I wish......

Bullies

have been in the news a lot lately. We have all been touched in some way by a bully. Whether it was yourself as a victim, or your child, a friend or cousin. You may have even been the bully at some point. It is sad and wrong and we all know it.

But I am going out on a limb here. Are we as a culture encouraging it? Kids are not learning social skills, our media rich and too busy way of life does not promote interaction, empathy or unity. Too many are self absorbed and seem to not notice the people around them. Now there is a huge focus on the terrible things that bullies do, giving them attention and power. There lies the problem. You can create rules and laws to punish bullies and try to prevent the torment. But you cannot make people be nice. Some just get pleasure from being mean.

The second piece of the problem is that we do not want our children to have a difficult time. We have protected them from everything that may hurt their self-esteem to the point that some have not developed a sense of self-preservation. These children become victims. I would like to see more "anti-victim" programs. Instead of trying to teach kids to not bully, teach them to stick up for themselves and their friends. To walk away. To think that if I do not react, the mean guy has no power. Avoid being the victim. If you are with a bully, tell them you cannot be friends with them. Stop giving bullies the power and the tools to hurt others. Your child cannot be cyber bullied if there are limits to internet and cell phones.

It is hard to do, it really is. Bullying is human nature and will not go away. But you can take away their power.

I really need a break.....

from my life. I want to go be someone else for a weekend. Or time travel to my younger days and just hang out.

Everyone here is grumpy and tired. Two of us are old and falling apart. My house is dirty, the clothes are piled up, and the trashcan is always over flowing. And I would like to take a break. To some place with sand. And rum.

FIELD TRIP!!!!!!!!

I love a good field trip. And I love this little place. We are going to Clark's Elioak Farm today!!!!!

I plan to take a lot of pictures tomorrow and then hide from my class, lol!

Seriously, I love the old recovered artifacts the most. I wish I could go to the original Enchanted Forest and take some pictures there.

On a side note, I would also like to photograph abandoned buildings, but they scare the bajeezus out of me- I am claustrophobic for one thing (good for someone who works in a basement) and I have a fear of rodents and falling through rotten floors. So I guess Urban Exploration is not in my future, although the photos are awesome. But I have to admit one of the strangest and best "dates" David and I have ever been on involved 5 cameras and 3 dozen rolls of black and white film at the cemetery in Covington, GA!

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1. Really, really wanted those brown boots, but didn't buy them.

2. Lord help me, they were SOOOOO flippin' hard to pass up!

3. I love me some boots.

4. They make me feel all tall and bad ass.

5. As if 5 foot nuthin' could ever be tall.

6. Which may explain why I like teaching four year olds.

7. Never met one taller than me.

8. I wish I knew how to play the guitar.

9. I'd be like Maria in the Sound of Music.

10. Why don't you ever see women with dark brown hair and blonde roots?

11. And why don't the platinum blonde/black roots chicks schedule an appointment as they walk out of the salon.

12. Seems like they would know their hair is going to grow (as that is inevitable).

13. I used to regularly color my hair, but am currently sporting brown hair with silver highlights.........

All I can say is.....

never trust another woman. I find out more and more times I have been stabbed in the back by a supposed well meaning friend....... no guy friend ever did that. Except "Boring Bob", but that is another story......

Still thinking about men. Mainly the few that truly shaped my life.... For security reasons, I will not use real names.

#1- My dad. He and I were close once. Then things changed. He and my mother divorced, he remarried and, after that, nothing was the same. His wife was a nasty creature, but I think that if I had been geographically closer, things would have been different. And maybe his death would not have been as senseless. I miss the dad I had in my youth. The dad I had as an adult was disappointing.

#2- This person meant a lot to me, and then went away. As an adult thinking back to our relationship, I realize it was genuine. There was a mutual understanding and comfort there. We just enjoyed each other's company. We were both young and probably did not fully appreciate that this kind of relationship is the stuff that true partnerships are based upon, not the overly romantic notions of youth. I guess he was what I needed when I didn't have enough sense to know it.

#3- This person is another one that made me know what I was looking for. He treated me better than I thought I deserved, and I will never forget that. It still makes me feel special. We are still in touch and he is still an awesome guy.

#4- And the challenging one..... drove me crazy and was ultimately all wrong for me. We worked better as friends than we did as a couple and he taught me what I did NOT want. But he still knew me better than most.... And he reminds me of my mother.

#5- Is a lot like #2 and #3. I met him at a bad time. He was unbelievably understanding and patient. He trusted me and gave me space and that meant so much. We didn't always agree, but we could always compromise. We would finish each other's sentences and have pretty much the same sense of humor. I sat in a Waffle House one night before I met him and made a list once of things I wanted in a man. Wrote it on a napkin with a Sharpie. He had everything on the list.

Must want children

Needs to notice when I walk into a room

Must be kind to animals

Funny

Loyal

Tall (what can I say- they only ones #1 t0 #5 that was under 6 feet was my dad)

Is not mean

Good tipper

Smart

Kind

I was talking to a friend recently about Prince Charming. That got me thinking about little girls. Not too long ago, I wrote about raising boys in our world. Boys have some pretty unrealistic role models. But girls have it bad, too.

Think about it. Boys are exposed to super heroes, idiot characters and weird men with big arms and small heads. Girls, well, girls' ideal men consist of Ken and Prince charming. Clearly, not the most manly of men. They spend their time brown nosing Barbie and Cinderella. They do not have a Dream House, a cool car, or even a JOB. They follow her around, because they cannot survive without her. Ken would never ask Barbie where his socks/drill/wallet are! Prince Charming would never leave the seat up. Reality? Some guy pissed off that he will never be Spiderman and leaving his dirty underwear on the floor, usually adjacent to the hamper because he missed (while bragging what good aim he has).

Do you see the lopsidedness to this? No wonder no one can stay married! I have no idea how I ended up actually LIKING men. Maybe it is because 75% of all women I know are annoying on most levels. They expect Prince Charming and Ken. Someone that will live for them. This is not realistic or practical. I hope that my daughter learns that most men are just boys who still want to be Spiderman. They can be selfish, lazy and inconsiderate. But we should love them any way. And watch out for those Prince Charming types- they are usually chasing Ken.

not hard to please.....

I hate it when I get called difficult! I really am not hard to make happy. I am a simple person, to tell the truth. I think the things that make my absolutely happy are things that would work for most women. Very simple.

• Listen when I talk. Even if it has nothing to do with you.
• Once in a while do something that you hate just because I like it.
• Kiss me for no reason.
• Tell me you love me every day.
• Help me. This is huge. Men don't get this one simple fact----- do a household chore without being asked and NOT asking for a cookie and guess what? You might get lucky. Just sayin'- a tired woman= no fun! Having to pick up your underwear is a pretty big turn off.

Things I have Learned

A few words of wisdom from experience:

1. Whoever said "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, blah blah blah" needs to be tarred and feathered. What a stupid piece of advice. If you love something, let it know every day! And don't let it go without a fight.

2. Communication is the most critical and most often overlooked component of a relationship.

3. Desire the best, but plan for the worst. That way you are not disappointed.

4. Don't put your children ahead of your marriage. They are supposed to grow up and leave you. Shouldn't you have someone you actually like left with you?

5. Always pack more underwear than you think you need.

6. Buy toilet paper in bulk and hide a roll. You might be grateful for that one day.

7. A woman should always have a "secret stash" of cash. It doesn't need to be much, but that hidden $50 has saved the day more than once.

in my perfect world..... (addendum)

12. I would never have to unload the groceries, or put away the laundry cuz that is why I had so many kids.

13. I would not have to pump gas, take out the trash or maintain my vehicle, because the husband that thinks I am fabulous (and not the least bit annoying) would have already taken care of it. (and then I would be unstressed and a happy to show my gratitude, lol, wink wink)

in my perfect world.....

1. I wear a tiara and am always right.

2. I live near my family.

3. With about 5 or 6 kids.

4. And a dog.

5. And maybe a goat. (only cuz they are cute)

6. As the coolest mom and favorite aunt, everyone would be at my house. All the time.

7. No one would have "issues".

8. We would always have socks.

9. Every year we'd have a Halloween party and everyone would help decorate.

10. My husband would think I am fabulous and not the lest bit annoying.

11. And I would still be a size 4.

Amen.

Sometimes...

I get so frustrated, especially in public. First of all, have you people never shopped in a store before? Could you kindly take a look around a realize you are not the only person in the aisle and get your behiney out of the middle of it? No one can get around you and you just STAND there, usually with your grubby children, even after I have said EXCUSE ME 3 times. Second, do you really need to walk around AC Moore with your cell phone and Blue Tooth talking about Lord knows what? And so LOUDLY? And stop cussing. I don't want to hear it, and I don;t want my children to hear about what your did with your date last night, either.

Finally, why can I not go anywhere on Sunday without having to deal with a certain NFL team's jersey everywhere? Where I come from, you don't wear nasty flip flops and football jerseys to CHURCH. Nor do you wear pajama pants, jeans or anything you may have slept in. I know what you're gonna say- God doesn't care what I wear...... Well, it's His house. You would dress up more than that to go to a friend's house. Or a party. This is God's house, show some effort.

I've been spending too much time thinking again. I shouldn't do that- it makes my brain sore. Seriously, though, the past is generally best left behind you. But every once in a while, something enlightening comes along. This time, it involves a broken heart.

I didn't really have serious relationships when I was younger. I was pretty immature most of the time and had no idea of anything outside of Covington, GA. I certainly had no idea what I wanted. And I never really got asked out that much. But I did have a boyfriend my senior year of high school. You know the kind- the class ring, the standing Saturday night date, the one you knew you'd go to the prom with........

I was accepted to Brenau in early admissions. Brenau was the only place I had applied. I had only visited Agnes Scott, Georgia State (which would have been as a commuter since there were no dorms then) and Brenau. My parents had already said "absolutely not" to UGA (wise move, dad). So I knew where I was headed after graduation. I had no clue what I wanted to study, but I did know I wanted more from life than I would have if I didn't go.

About a month before it was time to leave, the boyfriend broke up with me. I never knew why and I was crushed. I don't think I ate for days and I didn't sleep very well, either. My parents made me get a job to "take my mind off it"...... Yeah, cuz workin' the drive thru at KFC really takes your mind off getting dumped and feeling sorry for yourself.

Who knows if we had what it took to stay together through four years of college. Who knows if we would have ended up married with a bunch of kids and celebrating 50 years of bliss. I can tell you I was crushed at the time. I can tell you I have many friends that are currently happily married to a high school sweetheart. And I can tell you that even though I was already married and living in another state, I was sad the day he got married to someone else- proof that he had totally forgotten me. And when my mother told me he had the score of the UGA/GA Tech game on the soles of his shoes for all to see, I laughed my ass off.........

THIRTEEN

1. Hopefully I will get better at posting more often.

2. The past few months have been difficult.

3. Had no idea why I felt so horrible.

4. So, moving on from here......

5. I have been trying to hammer home to point to my children that they are genetically doomed- diabetes on both sides, plus high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer.......

6. Time to set a better example.

7. And thinking that if God has a plan for us and we have free will, he must have a back up plan. Otherwise those two notions do not jive.

8. Unless our free will takes us on a detour.

9. I dunno.

10. I do not live in the past but I wonder sometimes how different choices would have played out.

11. That is normal, I know.

12. Just saying- would different choices have yielded the same result?

13. Or would I be living in Georgia as a mother to five, hosting Thursday night family dinners every week? Or would I be a nun living in a hut in an unknown village teaching the poor to care for their babies and goats? Interesting thought.......

thirteen (plus one cuz i waited til friday)

1. I am 43 now.

2. Never thought I'd be that old, lol.

3. I think about when my mom was 43.... she was beginning her 30 year journey of menopause.

4. That and her thyroid/depression/blood pressure/back pain served as excuses for almost everything.

5. Now for a few random thoughts.....

6. If you are going to be late picking up your child from school, do not walk in with a Starbuck's cup (unless it is FOR the teacher). Hint- now I know WHY you were late and I am annoyed.

7. If you have time to build your own boat, you clearly have time to unload the dishwasher and put a NEW trash bag into the trash can. Just sayin'.

8. Have found out that as soon as a Husky completes blowing its coat, Pomeranians begin.

9. I used to feel guilty about liking some students more than others. I have since learned that in all things in life there are favorites. You just have to find a way to not show it.

10. I owe Laquetta Brummet of Infants of Dunwoody everything in my adult life. She was the mentor I needed and the mom I never had......

11. And back to my birthday- which have a way of sucking.....

12. For my 43rd I found out I have diabetes.

13. Blood tests next week will confirm, but I really did know it already.

14. Don't tell my mom!