Still thinking about men. Mainly the few that truly shaped my life.... For security reasons, I will not use real names.

#1- My dad. He and I were close once. Then things changed. He and my mother divorced, he remarried and, after that, nothing was the same. His wife was a nasty creature, but I think that if I had been geographically closer, things would have been different. And maybe his death would not have been as senseless. I miss the dad I had in my youth. The dad I had as an adult was disappointing.

#2- This person meant a lot to me, and then went away. As an adult thinking back to our relationship, I realize it was genuine. There was a mutual understanding and comfort there. We just enjoyed each other's company. We were both young and probably did not fully appreciate that this kind of relationship is the stuff that true partnerships are based upon, not the overly romantic notions of youth. I guess he was what I needed when I didn't have enough sense to know it.

#3- This person is another one that made me know what I was looking for. He treated me better than I thought I deserved, and I will never forget that. It still makes me feel special. We are still in touch and he is still an awesome guy.

#4- And the challenging one..... drove me crazy and was ultimately all wrong for me. We worked better as friends than we did as a couple and he taught me what I did NOT want. But he still knew me better than most.... And he reminds me of my mother.

#5- Is a lot like #2 and #3. I met him at a bad time. He was unbelievably understanding and patient. He trusted me and gave me space and that meant so much. We didn't always agree, but we could always compromise. We would finish each other's sentences and have pretty much the same sense of humor. I sat in a Waffle House one night before I met him and made a list once of things I wanted in a man. Wrote it on a napkin with a Sharpie. He had everything on the list.

Must want children

Needs to notice when I walk into a room

Must be kind to animals

Funny

Loyal

Tall (what can I say- they only ones #1 t0 #5 that was under 6 feet was my dad)

Is not mean

Good tipper

Smart

Kind