Memory Monday

zrs makes two saves..... make it bigger so you don't miss them!

weird random memory

I was looking at riding boots on ebay. So I cannot explain how I started thinking about ballet class..... When I was 7, I took ballet. We all wore pink tights and pink leotards. A couple of months into the season, a new girl joined the class. She had a BLACK leotard.

I was thinking just now about it. She had a unibrow and very heavy looking glasses frames (not a good combo). She wanted a pink leotard, too, so she could look like us. We just thought she was kind of weird. I can't help but think that if she had been very pretty, very funny or super cool in some kind of way, we would have all wanted a black leotard, too, so we could be like her.

hmmmm...

human behavior is quite puzzling.......... and i am easily confused by it.

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*thirteen best things about my trip*

1. I got to sleep- no snoring, no dogs, no kids to wake me up.

2. I didn't cook.

3. I didn't do laundry.

4. No one was fighting.

5. I could read. Without guilt.

6. I saw friends without worrying about getting home to my kids.

7. I was relaxed.

8. I bought a new Troll Bead. See this.....

9. Got to catch up with someone I have not seen in a very long time.

10. I got to have a cup of coffee in peace while checking email at Square Perk, my new favorite place on the square.

11. Ok, favorite, except for maybe this place. And this one.

12. So I love the Square in Covington- I always have.

13. Can't wait until August!

hey you

...you still make my heart skip when i look at you..... too bad you don't read this.....

memory monday

zrs @ obx

eatin' watermelon on the balcony

It's time.....

I have several hours before my trip and I am still getting ready. This has been one crazy week and I am so ready for this break. I just have a few more things to do. Like pack. It is unusual that I am not done already. And it is stressing me out.

And of course I wanted to have groceries and clean clothes for the children. I didn't get that all done either. I guess if I just hunker down after I finish this coffee I can get it done. I have just suffered an overwhelming lack of motivation lately- and it is effecting everything! Maybe this trip is just what I need!

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1. I am flying to Atlanta tomorrow.

2. Just in case you had not caught that.

3. I am partially packed.

4. I still need to finish up the laundry..... I have had something to do every night this week, though.

5. I know I will miss my kids (eventually).......

6. But I also know I am going to have fun!!!

7. I plan on resting, relaxing, drinking and seeing friends.

8. I hope my mom is behaving.

9. She could actually be a major buzzkill.

10. She should change her name to Buzz Killington.

11. Crap, I still need batteries........

12. Haven't decided what to wear to El Charro.....better get on that.

13. Other than that-------- I''M READY!

Memory Monday

i forgot to post this- sorry

hjs can befriend any dog, anywhere

october 2004

some winery in maryland

Trauma

There has been much said about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Many think it is made up, or for the weak of mind. Personally I think the maturity, age and experience of the "victim" is critical. There are individuals that suffer gross abuse and neglect, horrifying accidents or war and are psychologically unscathed. Others experience an event that may be considered by some as nothing. To that person, it WAS something. You can't really put in degrees and compare. It is all apples to oranges. "My rape was more brutal than yours........" "My abusive parents were worse than yours......." See how ridiculous that sounds. It is all relative in the victims mind and experience.

That said, I know a child who is close to the family that had "something" happen to her on Halloween night. We are not sure the details and I may never really know. Since the event, she has refused to go to school, she will not even go to the dentist in the town where it happened, she has had trouble sleeping, she has lashed out angrily at her mother....... So she is taken to a doctor who decides in one visit that she is bipolar and puts her in anti psychotic drugs. After one visit to him. Ummmmm, am I the only one who sees a problem with this?

There are God moments in our lives and between this development, my daughter's issues and then the idiot lady speaking at that preK conference...... I think I am being told something. Maybe I need to finish my degree and be able to do something to help these kids........

It's time.....

to start packing! Yes, it takes me a week to pack. I have to make lists, wash everything and have it all ready because I know I won;t feel like it during the week. And since I do not have to go to work on Friday at all, I have time to just hang with my kids. I will most likely take them breakfast that morning, to the Honey Bee.

So I have a busy weekend-

• Get kids' Valentines stuff together
• Laundry
• Groceries
• Cleaning
• Sugar cookies
• Make play dough (chocolate!)
• Get a card for David and a little surprise for Helen and Zachary

For now, enjoying the coffee before I have to get busy!!!!

13! for Thursday

1. One week and a day til my trip.

2. Guess that means I will spend my weekend doing laundry and getting my ducks in a row.

3. I am still excited.

4. Took advantage of being next to the former Wharf Rat today.

5. I stopped for a beer and a cup of gumbo after the conference.

6. I had forgotten the sex appeal of men in well cut suits and nice ties........

7. There is a reason I agreed to work Men's Wear at Jos A Banks.........

8. and sold a lot of ties!

9. It is so cold here- I ended up walking about a billion blocks in the wrong direction today and thought I had frost bite on my feet.

10. And I got annoyed at the lady who was annoyed at my phone making beeps when I answered an important text to my assistant (it was a 5 word answer- 22 beeps)......

11. Meanwhile she was coughing and hacking a lung through out the presentation- which I find more annoying that a text message consisting of "no, did that last week".

12. Sometimes most of the population annoys me.

13. But I could overlook it if you are wearing great tie.

The Pre K Workshop

I attended a seminar for preK teachers today. I got a lot out of a few of the classes, but one left me feeling very angry.

The class was about at risk kids- warning signs and how to deal with them, etc. Obviously this had my interest because I have an at risk child, plus I have always been intrigued by behavior. The presenter focused on sensory integration, ADD/ADHD, Anxiety and stress disorders and Autism. She presented ADD/ADHD as kids are over diagnosed and medicated because parents complain and want a quick fix rather than actually parenting the child (this is true to a degree, but the comment is NOT providing teachers with a bank of ideas on HOW to deal with those children in class). It went down hill from there. She got to the Anxiety disorder portion and started with the phrase "shame on America for what we are doing to these children." She went on to paint a portrait of your typical child with anxiety disorder as the victim of over scheduling, parental pressure, and lack of nurturing and down time. She said that those were the ones whose parent could afford a diagnosis. The rest were in poor homes where there was substance abuse, neglect and abuse. Their stress is rewiring their brains and causing brain damage. That our classrooms were the only loving safe haven these children have..... WTH? Kids with undiagnosed ADHD go on to have conduct disorders- which she claimed was "prophecy". Better yet, how about the fact that they are untreated means there are no skills being taught to compensate and they are not able to function and cope, resulting in a defiant child with low self esteem?

So the fact that my child began have symptoms at 2 1/2 was caused by over scheduling and pressure to perform? Or by my poverty and drug problem? That the on going issues we have are rewiring her brain? Really. Or could it be that her brain is already "wired" differently? That her perception is different than reality. Her poor executive function skills cause a great deal of her stress, not her parents.

To do a short snippet on a soap box regarding these issues is not fair to the children or their parents. Now these teachers who are unfamiliar with these children and their needs will go back school and look at these families differently. How tragic.......

Memory Monday

zachary age 2

turkey leg and a bike helmet (worn ALL the time with soccer shin guards)

ever present vacuum cleaner in the background

I am worn out......**

the ordeal with **** has consumed me this week. The stupidity overload has taken its toll. I cannot understand how so many grown people that think they are intelligent are quite possibly the dumbest people I have ever met in my life.........

So It makes me ill thinking of the many ways this poor kid has been screwed over by parents, the lawyers, the judges, the "experts", the system....... All she wants is to go to school, to fit in, to live a "normal" life. I know children of divorce are never quite "normal" but for Pete's sake- does it NEED to be like this? If parents do not want to be together, then get a divorce. Dragging it through courts and arguing over every single little decision and literally burning money like dry leaves..... I do NOT understand. This only makes two people happy- HIS lawyer and HER lawyer. Their kids will have a nice house, a good education, college, a car, a real life......... The kids of the Plaintiff/Defendant? No- all the money has gone to another family. All the energy has gone into fighting a war that doesn't exist. All the time drained by worry........

I'll just stay married, thank you very much. ****, your idea of freedom and happiness is not worth that price.

back to december (taylor swift)

{could have written this if i had an ounce of talent...........been there}

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me
Still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine and
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright and
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind and
I go back to December all the time

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/taylor_swift/#share

δέκα τρία για την Πέμπτη

(thirteen for thursday in greek)

Pretending I just found $30 in the bottom of my closet.......here is what I'd splurge on.......

1. A Trollbead (this one is pretty)

2. Bath and Body works- maybe some White Tea and Ginger or Mango Mandarin.....

3. Car detailing

4. MP3 downloads

5. Sushi lunch with David (although we'd probably go over)

6. Brown Converse All Stars

7. A solo trip to the movies (I actually enjoy going alone)

8. A box of Godiva to share with Zachary, Helen and Natacha

9. The BIG bottle of Bicardi

10. 50 Donut Shoppe K cups

11. Flowers for the front porch

12. A pedicure

13, Another Trollbead