The "Green Thing"

So, what HAVE I been up too?  Well, besides trying to "declutter" my world, I have been trying to find ways to make our house work for us.  Not always an easy task,by the way.  I have been trying to find to figure out what we really need, how to store it and put things to good use......

Many years ago, in Boone,NC,I bought this green cabinet thing for about $30.  It was one of the few things I have kept from my first marriage (David keeps threatening to use it for a bonfire).  It was originally the TV stand. Then a stereo cabinet. Then a storage cabinet for serving pieces and wine glasses. Then  a toy cabinet in my daughter's bedroom.  Now it has returned to my living room to once again hold serving platters and board games (if I can evict the cat- he seems to find it homey).  Since my beloved cookbooks were scattered all over the house, I got them all together and put them here.  The shelves were on clearance for $12 each at Target.  The framed pictures are ones my children made for Mother's Day when they were 3 and 6. The Volkswagens are vintage Tonka that I bought for David years ago. When Helen came along we put them away...seemed like time to get them back out.

Dining room

This was my project for today...... the dining room.  I am determined to take this room back and eat dinner in it!!!!  This is what I started with:

The children had a large cabinet with doors that housed school supplies and things for crafts.  No one really does craft anymore, and if they do, I have the craft room in the basement they can go to.  Plus I had junk from my classroom that came home with me.

And this is after.  I still have plans for the room.  I plan to paint the desk/sideboard with cream colored chalk paint, the dining room table will be painted graphite or black.  I will also paint the wooden chairs. I have not decided what color.  Curtains will be grey and I will get new chair covers for the fabric chairs. Of course, I need to rethink the art in this room as well.  I have had the same stuff since we bought the house and am ready for something new.

I do still have a small chest in the dining room for paper, pencils, etc. the kids need for homework. The bulletin board will also be hung over it.  When you live in a small town home, the rooms must do double duty!

Long Time

I haven't posted anything in such a long time.  I have missed writing, but my heart had not been in it for a while.  I guess I needed a break.  But I needed to write today.  No promises that I am back, lol.

I have been keeping most things to myself, and that is probably not good.  Mainly, I have been holding in things about my child. I am sometimes hyperfocused on her and it has effected everything in my life.

Helen has had a very difficult few years. Most recently it came to out attention that she was cutting herself.  Also, after she kept gaining more and more weight, we finally had to admit there was problem.  She has an eating disorder.  This has not been an easy thing to deal with.  I, too, have had food issues over the years.

When I was younger, I had bulimia.  Not the eat and puke kind.  And I didn't truly BINGE in the way that one would expect.  However, the fact remains that if I had large meal or some thing "bad" I would skip meals for days and exercise like mad to make up for it.  I was consumed with guilt over things like a fast food burger or dessert.  I could not eat more than one plate on Thanksgiving.  I refused most treats.  I never ate lunch.  Ever.  No matter how hungry I was.

Why do we do this?  I really don't know why Helen does it.  We have tried to not nit pick about her weight, or her appearance.  But as things have gotten out of hand, we try to get her to make good choices, which has led her to rebel and make even worse ones.  The healthier we try to become, the more determined she is to fight it.  

My reason? Oh, where to begin?  I guess it is fair to say my parents were not much help. My mother was always very critical of everything.  I do recall when I was 8 or so I went to a 50th wedding anniversary party for a couple from church.  They had a fancy cake with butter cream frosting and gold dragees.  I thought it was beautiful and wanted those gold edible beads..... so I kept getting cake.  Really, I wasn't even EATING it, I was stashing those beads in a napkin!  But my mother told me that everyone was staring at the "fat girl" taking all the cake. I think that is what set me up for the "eat in front of no one" mentality that has shaped my entire existence.

There is much, much more to my story, but I will save it for later.  

thirteen for thursday......... almost one year since last post, time to get back on it!!

1.  I have realized I am consumed by my house and its inhabitants.
2.  I know I need to make time for myself.
3. In order to do this I will need to break free from this prison I have created.
4.  This house is not going to be on an episode of hoarders anytime soon, but the clutter has become overwhelming.
5.  I waste too much time moving crap from one pile to another.
6.  Time to cut back.
7.  I started in the worst room- my own bedroom....
8. Still no where near done, but it is getting there.
9.  I want peace.
10. I want to relax.
11. I want to be able to go somewhere and NOT think all the things I need to do at home.
12. Weekends are too short and precious to spend them dreading Monday.
13.  I can DO THIS!