The Saga Continues

We took Helen off her meds. She was becoming more and more difficult in the evening. We are supposed to schedule a psychological evaluation soon- just waiting for the NEW insurance to start.

The good news is her grades are good- A's in English, religion and science, B's in math and social studies. Social studies is actually a 93 average- but our school has 93 and under as a B. She is more willing to try things- she has started band (drums!). She wants to try out for chorus, she leaves me in the morning to go sit with her friends in the lobby- all things she would not have done in the past. She still says she hates karate, but we don't have to force her to go. So, some things are a little easier..... Now if I can get her to pick up after herself and bring home all her books!

Long Time, No Post

OK, I will try to do better. Things got crazy with the full time hours and two kids who are also busy. But things are leveling out. I think.

This is my classroom- this is what I do all day. ALL DAY, as in 7:45 to 2:45 I have little bodies running all over this room.

But, I love my job. How many people can say that? I love the kids, the teachers, the school....

And, there is more. I have often had regret because I married young, divorced and remarried soon after- sort of "tying up" my 20's. Then I had children of my own. I have always had obligations and I have regretted the fact that I did not do missionary work in my youth.

But last week in Mass, Father said something quite profound. He was discussing missions and how to serve. He asked "what is your platform? How can you make your work your platform- your mission?" At that moment it hit me that I am already serving my mission. Every day. It has been a long road to get here and have this opportunity and I couldn't be happier about it. Everything happens for a reason and we are all called in some way, if we just listen.

Getting Ready!

Too much to do this week. I feel like I did nothing this summer. Spent a great week at the beach and stressful week in Georgia- seeing family was good; my kids were AWFUL, though. Other than that we did nothing that we normally do- no baseball games, no free movies, no farm and zoo. Oh my. Now I feel like I have to squeeze it all in this week. I go back on the 24th. And there is much to be done there, too. I will post some classroom pictures soon. It is a scary mess right now!

not much

is on my mind lately, so I haven't been writing. Things are busy, as usual. My classroom furniture arrived, my carpet is installed. I am going in today to geta few things done. Then I will scoot out and get some errands run- the bank, Target and maybe a pedicure.

And here are some pictures from vacation......

more adhd news

The trip today confirmed two things- Helen is working above grade level IQ wise, and she does have ADHD. I already knew that. Now we need to decide if meds are the way to go. We will have a full psych eval to determine how she learns best and then will be better able to work with school. We will also have to arrange for behavioral therapy so she can learn to cope with frustration and stress. As she matures and has more control, we can take her off meds. Of course, David thinks ADHD is all made up.......

i'm still slackin'

I have been scarce here. I've been a bit consumed with kids and summer. I feel like we really haven't done much, and I guess we haven't. I also feel like we don't have a lot of summer left.

I got a call from Kennedy Kreiger today. They had a cancellation and can take Helen tomorrow. I am not sure what I should tell her about why she has to be tested. She gets so freaked out by stuff. I am also nervous- I don't know what to expect and that is an unpleasant feeling. Hopefully she will not sit and bark at the doctor. Hopefully she will talk and respond. I want them to see the real Helen, not the shut down version (we rarely see that side of her, so I don't that to be her first impression). Any way, this will at least get us started down some kind of road- maybe we'll have some answers soon......

wow- time flies when you're drinking rum.....

I can't believe I haven't written in almost a month. We have been busy, though. Vacation was great and I didn't want to come home. But all good things must end and here I am.

To update any one who is interested- Helen has been diagnosed ADHD. That is just step one. We were given the option of leaving the pediatrician's office with a prescription or to seek a psychologist for a full evaluation. We are going for the second option because we still need to rule out anything else, plus I want her monitored if we opt for meds. I am fine with meds; David, not so much. He still thinks that ADHD is a disorder invented by pharmaceutical companies. He listens to too much talk radio. The people who spout that kind of nonsense don't know anything about child development, psychology or have a child with ADHD. I want some king of occupational therapy to help her learn to function, but if meds can help her focus and reach her potential, then so be it.

I will get around to posting pictures from vacay as soon as I can- posting pictures is hard on this sight!

Still busy

Tomorrow- Helen's eye appointment, Zachary's swim lesson, Home & School meeting

Thursday- Swim lesson

Friday- Zachary's eye appoinment, storytime, my haircut

ai, yi yi!

Busy, Busy

It is my turn to do freezer club this month. A group of my friends- we take turns preparing things for the freezer- like casseroles, etc. Unfortunately, my first partner flaked. My second partner had a death in the family. So, I have had to do it alone. It really hasn't been so bad- I've sort of enjoyed it. I haven't been cooking a lot lately and it was nice to get back into my kitchen. Maybe now summer is here, I can spend more time in dinner.

On the menu: garlic lime chicken, sausage and veggie "foil packs", bbq chicken, chili. vegetable soup and garlic studded pork. Some are for the crock pot, others for the grill.

In other news, Zachary has another endoscopy scheduled tomorrow. Not sure what time- they don't call until the night before. He also had to do a "home clean out". He is quite full of poop- so he is on a liquid diet and loaded up on Myralax. It seems to be working- he has pooped about 9 times since yesterday morning (ewwww). The reason for the scope? He was off meds for about 3 weeks and I thought things were going well. But during our last appointment, Zachary told them he throws up in his mouth and food gets stuck in his throat when he eats, etc...... So they are going to take a look. He is also back on meds. The chalazion on his eye is getting smaller.

And finally- Helen. I will follow up with her doctor later this week. I feel bad about dropping the ball on her, but I have had a crazy couple of weeks (besides the fact that I deep down want the problems to go away). We have also had swimsuit issues this year. Nothing fits or looks cute. She had the swim shorts that she loved, but they were too tight. I ordered more from Land's End when they went on sale. She keeps fishing them out of the hamper before I can wash them, so I ordered more..... along with the tops that go with them.....

13 stuff

Sorry I have not posted- crazy week or so here-

1. My wallet was stolen yesterday- what a pain in the ass.

2. Zachary has another chalazion on his eye and it looks U-G-L-Y.

3. He also went to University Hospital for his appointment.  Now he is scheduled for an endoscopy on Tuesday.

4. Due to Zachary's eye and stomach, and a to do list as long as a 4 year old, I have dropped the ball on Helen's issues....

5. Swim lessons start on Monday.

6. I am so ready to move on to the "next phase" of my teaching- I am way over the library now....

7. Why do I feel so responsible for the library still?

8. So ready for my vacation.

9. The new vacuum cleaner (a Dyson!) is AWESOME!

10.  I will be happy to get my house back on track and (hopefully) get routines in place over the summer.

11. The produce stand is calling my name- I cannot believe I haven't been once this year!

12. Slumdog Millionare is just about the saddest thing I have ever watched.......

13. Softball is OVER and I am so glad for that....... this season has sucked.

Thought Provoking......

I am reading an article about the need for preK in the middle class.  OK, I am "middle" class, I have young children and I have taught preK.  I can see what they mean- the cite one family in which the first born went to a church nursery school 2 days per week and the second son, who had special needs, qualified for services daily.   The older child was behind in the first grade- he couldn't keep up.  The second was right on target for every benchmark.  Interesting. 

My first thought is about how much kindergarten and first grade have changed over the years- even since I first started teaching.  We are doing things much earlier than in past years.  Why?  Who are we trying to keep up with?  What are we trying to prove by removing the fun from childhood and replacing it with serious academia?  I think we are hurting our future rather than helping it.  By going faster, we are stressing our children while removing curiosity, wonder and thought.  We cram phonics and math down their throats for 7 hours a day before they are 6 years old, then complain that they are not critical thinkers or good writers in the 6th grade.  And why can't they think, problem solve and write.  No one has ever expected them to.  We are demanding a skyscraper, but failing to build a deep and sturdy foundation.  A mighty oak would blow over in a breeze without strong, deep roots.  Children are very much the same.

My second thought is this- why are one group of children (special needs, ESL, etc) given priority over another (gifted, average, slightly but not significantly delayed, etc)?  Why does one group get rescued while another is ignored?  ALL children have special needs at one time or another.  Every child is worthy of being taught in the best way for THEM.  Tests and "programs" are not personal.  Teaching a test, or following the teacher's guide to the letter benefits no one.  Teachers are not allowed to be creative or to even see the individual child because they are teaching standards, teaching to raise test scores, teaching the masses........

We as a nation need to stop this way of thinking.  No Child Left Behind  was a horrible concept.  Please, please look past numbers and keeping up with another culture and look at our precious and most valuable resources before they are lost.

bipolar?

Someone who is close to my child suggested it today.  This is not the first time I've heard it, but I am not sure.  I have read several articles and seen lists, and I'm thinking "not really".  She has had rages and such, she exhibits mood swings and such, but those usually occur when she is asked to do something or change activities, which is more in keeping with another disorder, not bipolar- she turns it on and off- she must be the most rapid cycling person on the planet- or it is something else.  Right now, I am leaning more toward ADHD with Executive Dysfunction.   But maybe she is- she is usually pissed or sad, and when she is happy it is over the top and annoying.  This is so unbelievably hard and I have no idea where to go or who to talk to, or even trust.  

It must be Thursday.......

1. How do kids lose clothes?

2. I wish I had not signed Helen up for another year of karate.

3. There is way too much to do in the library.

4. This school year has been especially difficult for me as a parent.

5. Asparagus is AWESOME!

6. I hate my bedroom- I think I am going to get rid of everything in it and get new stuff.

7.  I need to paint the kitchen, too.

8.  Why can I never get around to mopping the floor?

9. The living room still needs curtains.

10. My car looks like a trash can.

11. I think I have over due library books in the trunk, too.

12. Why are so many of my friends pregnant?

13. Did I mention I hate the karate instructor?

Jon & Kate

Dear Kate,

What happened to you? Last year you were normal. You complained and yelled at your husband, who took it in stride because you seemed like you needed him. You made individual cakes for your babies on their birthdays because you thought they deserved that. You renewed your vows with you children present.

The show was about you trying to save money at the supermarket, trying to be organic, trying to be with your kids and maybe have a minute to yourself. Somewhere in all that you have moved into a huge house, gone blonder and skinnier, manicured and spa-ed. I cannot imagine you now the way you were then- normal. Even the trip to the store to buy party supplies was about you, the "p-people" and your skinny jeans/ high heels combo. I miss you, Kate, and I bet Jon and your kids do too. Take some time to reflect without a camera in your face; think about the Kate who celebrated "Love Day", made play dough, sat in the drive way on a hot summer day and blew bubbles. That was the mom we loved (and defended when you got too bitchy). You don't laugh any more, you don't play- there is nothing to balance the demanding Kate. I am starting to feel sorry for your family....

A [former] Fan

assessments

I received the Conner Assessment from Helen's teachers.  You would not know they taught the same child.   One reflected the one we see at home- restless, fidgety, avoiding.  The other indicated little was out of the ordinary.  The pediatrician is on vacation until next week, so I will deliver these before he gets back.  Then I guess we will meet with him and see what happens.

Am I doing the right thing?  I don't know.  I know that not doing anything is not helping.  She has her moments when she is so sweet and nice, then it turns as soon as you can blink.  I see and hear friends with their children.  The bond and adoration is clear.  They dye Easter eggs and make Christmas cookies.  They go on picnics.  The celebrate together, go to church and the park......  Whatever we try to do could be fun; it could very well be the battle of the century- you just never know.  No one that has joyful, easy going kids can know what it is like.  Some days my heart is broken in to little pieces.

I am so tired

And I don't mean sleepy.  I mean worn out, worn down and DONE.  I feel like I am the only person who w ants to figure out how to deal with my child.  And I am beating my head against a brick wall to trying to get somewhere.  No one seems to be in agreement with me and I feel like I am trying to do it all alone.  Not only alone- but in opposition of her father.  He says things like "maybe she needs help; maybe she needs meds", then when I pursue help, he won't even talk to me.   If nothing else she does better with consistency and discipline.  I tell her she need to do XYZ before she plays outside.  I go to the grocery store and when I return she is outside and XYZ is incomplete.  Because he "forgot".  I am so frustrated.....

Just an Observation

Back when I went to college, I majored in education.  We were required to write lesson after lesson, incorporating many materials and resources.  Accommodations were to be made for varying ability (ie- we were always required to provide enrichment and remediation) for every lesson we wrote.  Multiple assessments were expected, not just "test" or "worksheet".  Did I go to an excellent institution?  Of course I did.  We were taught to teach using the text book as a resource, not the only tool for learning.  We learned that children learn in a variety of ways and you had to teach to all those modalities- visual, tactile and audio.

Fast forward to 2009, eighteen years after I received my degree.  I have attended many workshops over the years which indicate that children learn best by being involved in the process.  I whole heartedly believe that children learn through experiences, an documented research backs this up.  With this knowledge, can someone please, please tell me why, in our society where children are falling behind at every turn, are we teaching one way and one way only.  We set the bar lower and lower, but by not teaching in ways that are meaningful to children and by not challenging them, they are still not reaching the goal set for them.  Why?  I am finding it more and more true that teachers are teaching a test and a text book.  Schools buy a "program" and rather than using the "program" as a tool or a resource, teachers are checking their brains at the door and sticking to that teacher's guide like glue.  

Because of no child left behind, when one falls behind, everyone stops til that child catches up.  The only way your child receives individualized instruction is when the have an IEP (and that is assuming the teacher has taken that information to heart and truly understands how to teach a child with special needs).  And ALL children have some special need or another at some point.  Aren't they all deserving of a teacher that knows them and tries to teach the individual?  

I am really beginning to lean toward home schooling these days.  I doubt that I will do it, but boy, is it tempting.

goodbye...

Mishca.  We have had her for several weeks now.  In that time she has displayed some aggression and I have not trusted her with the children.  She tries to dominate too often and will eat food right out of Zachary's hands (as he is trying to eat it, not feed it to her).  She has bitten Ozzy on the nose.  This morning she peed on my new carpet for the third time in a week (carpet is not even paid for, dang it).  That is not really grounds for getting rid of her- I was just going to make her sleep in the basement because she is doing it at night.  But this morning she kept getting under the table trying to take the kids' food.  I was trying to help Helen finish some homework and asked David if he would take her out.  He tried to get her from under the chair, she growled (not uncommon, which is why I have been afraid to correct any of her behaviors) and then BIT him.  On the hand.  She has nipped at everyone in the house so far, but this is the last straw- it was aggressive and something I cannot allow.  I have two little kids and I cannot have a dog I don't trust around them.  I would trust Ozzy with their very lives; Mischa I don't trust to not eat their faces off if she wanted their food.

I am saddened by this.  I feel that there are no bad dogs, just bad owners.  We have no idea where she came from and this is a risk one takes when rescuing an animal.  Maybe in a home without kids or another dog she'd do better.  She is just not a good match with my family.  I hope she has another chance at a home.....

Funny thing is we were walking her a few days  after we got her and ran into this really weird guy.  He was petting Ozzy and saying what a good dog he was, etc.  Then he commented about Mishca- he said "you haven't had her long".  Then he went on to say not to trust her, she has troubles.  She could turn on a dime and she would try to be the house alpha, etc.  It was really weird, but oh so true........

13!

1. Have I mentioned I'm ready for summer?
   
2. The kids have "out of uniform" today, and Helen has nothing to wear (the down side to having uniforms is that you don't think about decent clothes until it's too late).
   
3. I don't want to go to school today.
   
4. Whenever I type I hit the semi colon button instead of the apostrophe button.
   
5. I didn't wash lunchboxes last night- now I have to do it before I can pack today's lunch- arg!
   
6. Reserved the place in Nag's Head yesterday.
7. My new bathing suits arrived, but I haven't tried them on yet.
8. Mischa is making me mad.
9. Laundry basket is full again- must be Thursday.
10. It is cold this morning, but it is going to get up to 80 today- beautiful day!
11. Coffee is my best friend this morning.
12. I may very well lose my mind soon.
13. Stress is not my favorite thing.

update

Pediatrician appointment was fine.  I have the Connor tool and will give it to the necessary people tomorrow.   He thinks ADD is possible, so we proceed from here.

3 weeks.....

until summer break!  I am ready.  Really, really ready!  I ordered two bathing suits from Land's End (one a black and ivory batik print, one brown), paid my pool membership and am planning vacation.  Yippy!   Of course, I will head down to GA for a bit, and go camping, too.  I'm ready- bring on summer.

Sunday-

1. Grocery store
   
2. Laundry- wash dry, fold, put away
   
3. Clean living room
   
4. Clean kitchen
   
5. Clean bathroom
   
6. Plan week and make to do lists......
   

Sadly, Sunday is no longer a day of leisure.  I  really miss that.  In perfect world, I could just kick back.  Hang with the kids, sit on a porch swing, then throw some food on the grill.  Have some margaritas by the pool.  Ahhhhh.......  Of course, it would help to have a swing and a pool.....

Something I've Never Really Blogged About....

I have been Helen's mom for 9 years and one week.  She has been a lot of work for about 8 years of it.  She has been impulsive, energetic, active, difficult, opinionated (and many other adjectives) most of her life.  She started with tantrums when she was 18 months old and I am still waiting for the terrible twos to be over.

She exhibits signs of many things, including autism.  We believe in our hearts this is not correct because of her language ability (speaking in complete sentences at 15 months, current vocabulary level is almost fifth grade).  She has a witty sense of humor, uses and understands sarcasm and makes puns and jokes.  She does have "quirks" though, that make her odd.  She has anxiety and is quite defiant and seems to find joy in nothing.  She loses things, cannot organize her time or spaces, she has a hard time prioritizing and planning tasks.  Things have gotten worse this year.  Now she lashes out at her brother, physically.  She seems depressed and angry all the time.  We don't know how to deal with it.

She will see her pediatrician on Monday.  At that visit I am putting the card on the table and asking for a Connor Assessment.  We will proceed from there.  The first logical step is to rule out ADHD.  This, untreated, can lead to the defiance, anxiety and depression we are seeing.  Please keep Helen in your thoughts and prayers and I promise to keep you updated.

I'm back- 13!

OK, I couldn't stay away.  I will spare you the details, but I decided I would not move the blog after all.

1. I am taking a personal day today.  Woo Hoo.
   
2. I have had a very difficult week.
   
3. School will be out  soon, but NOT soon enough.
   
4. You can tell the school year is almost over by looking at my kids' too small uniforms and worn out shoes!
   
5. Dog fur. OMG!  It is everywhere.
   
6. I don't want to spend the day off cleaning, but that is what I really need to do, darn it.
   
7. Planning a trip to the beach.
8. I really need a new bathing suit.    I hate shopping for one, though.
9. Still need navy blue shoes.
10. The 13 thing is hard this week.
11. New dog is making me mad.
12. There are about 24 rolls of film I need to get developed.
13. Just bought from Amazon- Don't Panic- Dinner's in the Freezer; Raising your Spirited Child; Parenting Children With ADHD: 10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach; Fix, Freeze, Feast: Prepare in Bulk and Enjoy

Moving.....

I am taking a break from blogging. I will resume when school is out, but at a new location. For privacy reasons, I will not forward to the new site, but if you follow my blog and would like to visit the new home when it is ready, please leave a comment along with your email address and I will share that information with you. Thanks for understanding and don't forget to leave a message.

MORE-

rain.

It is spring.  Everything is green, but nothing is blooming (except pollen and mold).  There are virtually no flowers to speak of- everything has been washed off trees by the rain and storms, or hasn't had a chance to bloom because of the lack of warmth and sun.   Gotta say- no one is appreciating the abundance right now.  All I can think about is the fact that we will skip the nice springy season and skip straight to flea and mosquito (thanx to all the wetness) ridden humid and hot summer days.  I hate it that I am a pessimist, but when it is gloomy for weeks on end, I cannot help myself.

RAIN!

It is supposed to rain all week. Darn. That means no softball. It also means a soggy birthday party. I guess we can put up the canopy outside for the girls to roast weinies and make s'mores. They can tie dye in the dining room. That stinks! I know we need rain, I'm just sick of it now. Cold dreary winter weather, followed by a month of rain, followed by HOT SUMMER. Can you say yuck? I haven't gotten to Sherwood Gardens for pictures because of the weather, but I haven't seen any tulips yet, either! Maybe I'll get to go on Sunday......

Closets

I just started pulling Zachary's clothes out of his closet- there ain't much left in there........  Plus he REALLY needs shorts.  I realized that I have never really ever had to buy him very many clothes.  I think the hand me downs have petered out ;0(  Children's Place and Gymboree, here we come!

I HATE

CLUTTER>>>>>>>>>

My house is starting to look like my mom's.  I know what to do- I just don't know where to put it all while I do it!  I need a dumpster and a "pod".

To Do

1. Clean kids' bedrooms
   
2. laundry, laundry and more laundry
   
3. clean basement
   
4. clean dining room (this includes finding a home for things that were formerly in the green cabinet that is now in Helen's room- this is a huge problem)
   
5. make shopping list for Helen's party

Party Time.....

Helen's birthday party is next weekend.  She wanted a sleepover, so it is a very small party this year.  Just 3 friends are coming over to roast wieners and make s'mores.

Here is the run down-

6 pm- friends arrive and make tie dye t shirts

7 pm- wienie roast, s'mores, mini cupcakes and Rita's (since ice cream + Helen= BAD)

after that- karaoke, movies, junk food and other girlie nonsense until I force them to go to sleep

next morning- cinnamon rolls and other breakfast items, play until noon, when they get picked up

Favors- I bought shower gel and lotion in a box set at Justice ($10 for 5 sets)- so each girl will get to take home her t shirt and a bucket filled with bath stuff, nail polish, candy and gum.

Like I said- probably the simplest party she has ever had. We will have all the Spitzers over Saturday afternoon for a little family party.  Then we'll have the big cake and her presents.  This is what she asked for

The American Girl of the Year, Chrissa and her pet llama.   Should be fun- we'll see......

Because we can't have douch bags like Spencer and Heidi getting the Swine Flu, now can we?

PICTURES!

My doggies!

Ozzzy close up, both on the sofa and outside, Mischa enjoying the hose...

thir, thir, thirteen!

1. I am so glad I live in America.
   
2. The library had a book fair this week and I am exhausted!
   
3. David has been in Boston all week and I miss him.
   
4. I had to testify in court on Tuesday.  I kinda didn't elaborate on the truth- that ****'s house is filthy and the cleaning I did was above and beyond "cleaning up after a family meal".
   
5. I did trip up her lawyer on more than one occasion and totally enjoyed it.
   
6. The experience of watching the circus, I mean divorce, between these people has made me vow to NEVER get divorced (David- you'd have to do something awful!).
   
7. Mischa ran off again this morning and is sitting at the pound until I can pick her up tomorrow.  Of course she still doesn't have a tag- I ordered the wrong one.
8. I just ordered a new one (like Ozzy's) from Boomerang Tags
9. She will have a chip when she gets home tomorrow.
10. I think Zac Ephron is hot and that makes me feel like a pervert.
11. I want to go to bed. Now.
12. Vacation- want one.  Soon.  Pass the rum, please.
13. mmmmm- hunan tofu- dinner's here!

The Bathroom

Our bathroom is so tiny that I couldn't really get great shots, but I finally finished it during the summer and never got around to posting.  The cabinet was white; I painted it espresso and added bronze hardware.  The walls are a golden color, the shower curtain has elephants on it- the picture I took was VERY blurry, so you don;t get to see it.  And if anyone has the same problem I do- kids toothbrushes don't fit into standard toothbrush holders and cups get gross slimy stuff in the bottom.  I use a flower pot!  Picked it up for a couple of bucks and there is a drain hole in the bottom- all I have to do is wash it out when I clean the bathroom.  Since there is a hole, no slime!  The wall cabinet hangs over the toilet and catches the over flow of items we all use every day.  The sugar shaker is filled with baking soda- paper boxes and steamy bathrooms don't mix!  Notice the Suave for Men- so Zachary doesn't "smell like a girl".

I'd love a Vacation....

I would love to go to a warm beach, drink lots of rum and sleep and play. I feel like I never get a real chance to just BE with my husband and children. I especially don't spend enough time with the husband....... It is starting to feel like all we do is run. When I am home, I feel like I have to clean, clean, clean.

This summer, my wish is this- to create regular routines for things like laundry and bathroom clean up, etc. Then get rid of all the CLUTTER. I think that if I could do those things and stick to it, everything else will fall in place. This is how I always did things before, but I have less and less time every week. I am always just moving junk from one place to another because there isn't room to put it all. We can't move. We can't add on. The only solution is to get rid of a lot of stuff. Now, how do I get it all past my kids?

13 13 13 13 13 13

1. I am so tired, it isn't even funny.
   
2. Kids left the front door open Monday morning.  Mishca ran out into the pouring rain.  Without her tags.  45 minutes later she is found wandering down a busy road and taken to the pound- where they immediately recognize her.
   
3. Ordered new name tag for Mishca.
   
4. Picked her up on Tuesday.
   
5. Getting microchipped next week.
   
6. Ozzy is heartworm FREE!   Yippy, happy dance!!
   
7. I really am starting to hate the karate teacher.  Really.  I didn't know that getting a black belt made one all knowing and above reproach.
   
8. Laundry is still a HUGE problem around here.
   
9. Someone asked me "when do you rest?"- good question.
   
10. Erin sent her resume to my school- how awesome would that be?  I want to work with her again!
11. Team pitch softball is boring when the girls cannot pitch or hit.  Or catch.
12. Key lime pie.
13. Reality that we are tripping over the threshold of puberty is sinking in.  I'm scared.

my life...

has consisted of too many years of 

A. worrying about what people think

B. selflessly taking care of people

C. spinning my wheels getting nowhere

i think it is time for some change

Helen makes me so tired.

8:44 AM

guess who is at my house?  Yep, you got it.  Helen had a sleepover with neighbor at the grandmother's house.  They wanted to go to the mall and I said- oh that's fine- we aren't doing much today.  Big mistake- Helen didn't come home until 9 PM and was absolutely exhausted.  So, of course, she was nasty all day Easter Sunday.  I made her go to bed at 8 last night and she slept until 7.  She is a little more pleasant, but now she is asking of the neighbor can go to the mall with us.  Wouldn't be a problem, except we are meeting friends there and neighbor girl doesn't get along with Helen's friend at all.  And I am trying to get Helen to go ahead and get her ears pierced.  Pretty sure David won't like it, but he let my son get a Mohawk, and then shaved him bald the week before school started.  So there......

I have a week planned-

Monday- meet Erin and kids for the mall and lunch; karate class at 3:45

Tuesday- drop Mishka off at groomers; Movie Monsters vs. Aliens; get Zachary's portrait done

Wednesday- Pic n Paint and library; karate at 3:45

Thursday- vet, Sherwood Gardens and picnic

Friday- 10-Story time is at my house; mini golf  after lunch; sparring at 3:45

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"  John 11:25-26

Happy Easter, everyone!

It has already started.....

the neighbor showed up at 8:45.  I have not showered or dressed, Zachary is driving me crazy about dying eggs, I don't want to do it with the fucking brat from next door, Helen won't do them she says and now it is 9:30, dogs are whining and pacing and the kids are getting on my nerves and I still haven't had a shower......  I can't stand the girl, and I hate the way Helen acts when she is with her.......

To Do List

1. Dye Easter eggs.
   
2. Get rabbits from basement.
   
3. Clean off front porch.
   
4. Stuff eggs for egg hunt.
   
5. Finish E. Bunny shopping (still need a couple of things).
   
6. Call kennel to get Not Ozzy bathed.
   
7. Make Helen try on Easter dress.
   
8. Get a new dress for her if first one does not fit.
   
9. Dress for myself?
   

13!

1. Yeah- spring break starts today.
   
2. Boo- next door neighbor also out and mom is still on maternity leave.
   
3. Zachary cheats at card games- don't let him deal the deck.
   
4. I know it is Thursday because the laundry pile told me so.
   
5. "Not Ozzy" really needs a bath- she smells weird.
   
6. I still need some blue shoes.  
   
7. Is it spring yet?
   
8. Easter bunny is slack at my house.
   
9. Tired of the "HOME OFFICE" spilling over into the foyer and living room.
   
10. I need a day to myself.
11. The living room really needs some curtains.
12. We need another vacuum cleaner.
13. And a dumpster.

Welcome Home.......

"Sheba" was adopted alright- by us.  David followed up with the pound to discover that the people who expressed an interest in the dog never came back.  She was scheduled to go to the rescue if there was room, or to be put down if not.  So she is now on my floor asleep.  Lord help us!

If Nuns Ruled the World......

we wouldn’t be in a mess.
If nuns were ruling the world, peace and justice would reign! I believe that if the ‘good sisters’ that I had in grade school, at Our Lady of Mount Carmel, were alive today, the economy would not be in the shape it is! Allow me to imagine what things would be like if Sister Euthalia were in charge. “Mr. Madoff, what are you doing?” “I’m creating a Ponzi scheme, Sister. I’m going to get people to put their mon­ey in an imaginary invest­ment that will allow me to rip them off for billions of dollars for myself,” he said with a smile. “You wipe that smile off your face or I’ll wipe it off for you! Now sit down right now and give that money back today! Don’t you know stealing is wrong? And get to confession!” “But Sister, I’m not a Catholic!” “Don’t you back talk me, young man! The light’s on for you every Wednesday evening from 7 to 8:30. And it’s lights out for you if I don’t see you there! Do you understand?” “Yes, Sister.” “And for your task, write 5,000 times: ‘Thou shalt not steal!’ ” “Yes, Sister.” “Now, you bankers and mortgage brokers, what are you doing making all these loans that you know people can’t pay back?” “Everybody’s doing it, Sis­ter. We wanted our share of the profits!” “Everybody’s doing it? Everybody’s doing it? If everybody was jumping off a cliff would you jump off, too? Now get to confes­sion and do some things to atone for all the harm you’ve caused!” “Yes, Sister.” “And write for your task 1,000 times: ‘I will not deceive people for my per­sonal gain!’ ” “Yes, Sister.” “Now, you, Johnny and Susie, what are you doing signing up for mortgages that you can’t afford?” “Nobody told us what was in the contract, Sister?” “Nobody told you? Didn’t you learn to read in the first grade? Didn’t you learn to add and subtract, multi­ply and divide, by the third grade? Do you think you’re just supposed to sit there like a bump on a log and do nothing?” “No, Sister.” “Well, you just sit down and write 500 times: “I will look before I leap. I will read before I sign. I will not blame others!” “Yes, Sister.” Sister Euthalia and God did it right. Occasionally I think she even gave God some advice! It’s always easier to pre­vent a mess than it is to clean up a mess. The good sisters would have prevent­ed today’s disaster. There is no substitute for learn­ing right from wrong, truth from falsehood, responsibil­ity from irresponsibility. The good nuns who taught most of us are gone now. As someone said, “They lived anonymous lives, and they are buried in anonymous graves.” But the good they did still lives on. And they live on a realm beyond time where goodness is eternally rewarded. We learn from the Scrip­tures that God’s ways are not our ways. When we try life without God we don’t always end up in such great shape. Someone has wise­ly said: “You can’t break the Ten Commandments. You can only break yourself against them!” Much in our world is broken today. The Ten Commandments are doing just fine! The good sisters would have prevented today’s disaster. There is no substitute for learning right from wrong, truth from falsehood, responsibility from irresponsibility.

from The Catholic Review by Father Joseph Breighner

why?

why did Helen have to beg to go to the pound on Saturday?

why did there have to be a Husky there?

why can none of us stop thinking about her?

why do I want to bring her home so badly- when I know I don't have time, money, room, energy for an old Husky?

What I Did Today

1. Clean kitchen.  

2. Go into Zachary's room to put away clothes- realize gerbil cage is open, spend 2 hours trying to round up gerbils and return them to their home. Only found one....

3. Go to Target to buy Easter stuff- leave with nothing but Peeps and chocolate rabbits.

4. Go home to meet Zachary (he was with Grandma).  Leave to pick up Helen from an Easter egg hunt.  Throw bags in truck, smashing chocolate bunny.

5. Go to the mall the buy shoes for Helen and Zachary.

6. Stop at Johnnie Rockets for sodas and french fries.

7. Come home and help David catch the second gerbil.

8.  Start a load of laundry only to realize that I was washing clean clothes, not dirty ones.

9. Clean kitchen. Again.

lunch programs

I am not an Obama fan.  The First Lady just rubs me the wrong way- so sue me.  But, being the Libra that I am, I must see good in everyone and will give credit where it is due.  I feel the need to commend Michelle Obama for her decision to include a kitchen garden at the White House.  Hopefully she has an idea about the crap we Americans eat.  And I hope she realizes the power she has to help share that with fellow Americans.  Healthy food is not for the elite.  Ironically, when I was growing up such healthy foods were "poor people" food (my brothers words, not mine).  We ate from a garden and rarely had processed foods.  I don't even really remember having much cheese around until I was in middle school.  

Which brings me to another point.  I would love to see a high profile parent (are you listening Mrs. First Lady) make school lunches a priority.  We are so insistent that kids will only eat nuggest and pizza that all we are willing to give them is the crap we know they will eat.  We will have a generation of adults that do not know what a real piece of food looks like.  Are we doing this because it is easier or cheaper?  It is certainly NOT because it is healthier or the only things children will eat.  

Other cultures do not share this mentality and their children eat fish, seaweed, beans, veggies, fresh fruit........  I have officially decided that I will no longer order of the kids' menu for my kids (as much as possible any way- if they cannot share, adult portions are too large and expensive for little guys).  I have been fighting a battle all their lives to get my kids to appreciate real food.  I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  If I could go back, I would have kept giving Helen what we were eating even though she threw it on the floor.  She would have eventually eaten what she was given.  I also wish I had never given them anything but water and milk to drink.  Zachary will drink water, but Helen would rather dehydrate than drink it.

Maybe following their trip to Europe, Mrs. Obama will recognize the need for this country to stop buying into big agriculture and the determination that children need such processed foods in their every day lives.  It needs to begin in the home, but school is  setting a terrible example.  I taught in a headstart type program in Georgia.  Our food funding really had no room for all processed foods.  We may have had the occasional nugget or pizza bagel, but we had more real chicken and dumplings, beans, home made meatloaf, fresh baked bread, fresh fruit......  And the kids ate it, especially the ones who told me "my grandma cooks like this".  Food for thought, people.  Feed your kids well.

1. I forgot to do the thirteen thing this week.
   
2. I actually went to the mall today.
   
3. Helen needed clothes.
   
4. $106 bought 3 pairs of shorts, four tops and a bathing suit for her.
   
5. Then I took myself to lunch.
   
6. My daughter hates her brother and it bothers me so much.
   
7. David and I are going on a date Saturday night.
8. The people my husband SHOULD be jealous of are not the same ones he is ACTUALLY jealous of.
9. I hate my bedroom.
10. Clutter is killing me.
11. Some preK shennanigans are getting to me- I wish some people who have nothing to do with it would butt out.
12. I wish I had a smokin'  hot body and new clothes.
13. I need to color my hair.

It has been an awful week

David announced that he can't deal with anything anymore and he is moving out.  Then I find out from one of his coworkers that he had someone with him the last time he went out of town.  I started snooping around and found out that he has been seeing **** and took her to Dallas last month.   This is all so weird and unexpected.  I never thought this would happen.  They are  going to live together and he wants custody so the kids can all be together.  If you are reading this and believed it for a minute, then April Fool's to you!

One Day...

David and I have been talking about things we'd like to do- and the funny peculiar thing is none of it involves the children.  We both want a "tear drop" camper.  He's been trying to figure out how to design one that will hold both kids, but kept coming back to "why do we have to take them?"  We have both been taking more pictures- sadly, he never seems to take MY rolls to the graphics place.  So, if we ever "retire"  (as it stands our retirement will come with phrases such as "welcome to walmart.  do you want a sticker?" or "do you want fries with that?"), we will travel around in our convertible, pulling our teardrop camper and taking pictures with our crappy Chinese cameras.   But it is nice that we are looking to a time that we don't have to take kids everywhere we go (about 10 years, I guess) instead of fighting all the time.  

laundry

is the bane of my existence!  It seems that I am always faced with needing to wash, iron or put away some article of clothing.  Brings to mind the story of Sisyphus spending eternity pushing a rock up a hill.  I don't think the pain of childbirth was God's punishment to Eve- it is having to wash all the stinkin' clothes!  We'd have so much less to do if she had never listened to that snake!

stupid post alert

OK, it is Friday and I am sitting in my living room, folding clothes and watching What Not to Wear (hoping to learn something?).  We live in a townhouse at the very edge of the subdivision.  There is a fence that separates us from another subdivision, and someone's backyard butts up to the fence.

So, as I am folding, I see something fly over the fence.  It a paint can.  The old man is throwing trash over the fence into my front yard.  I go outside to pick it up because I am annoyed, but sure enough, it is Behr paint in "Fudge Bar'- the exact paint we used in the living room.  I do not know how this can ended up in his yard, but I am confident this old man did not know it was ours- so why is he throwing trash over the fence?  I am tempted to throw it back!

forgotten photo

This is Helen before the Father/Daughter Dance for Girl Scouts.  The theme was back to the 80's- she is wearing a dress that belonged to my niece; Helen saved it from being destroyed last summer.  I cleaned it up, removed some rust spots and ironed it.  It is sleeveless, but January in Maryland required a long sleeved shirt under it, along with some 1980's style leggings.  Notice the side ponytail and numerous bracelets!  The date is wrong and that is Zachary's foot at the bottom...... in case you were wondering.

Dear Mrs. Mason,

You were my third grade teacher and my worst night mare.  You were everything that is wrong with education.  You and those horrible PE teachers from elementary school.  

I loved school until I had you.  I always wanted to be a teacher and always picture you when I think about what kind of teacher I do not ever want to become.  You liked to humiliate people, especially if they were different.  And you hated the smart kids.  Don't say you didn't because it was quite obvious.  You were hateful, mean and spiteful and I hate you to this very day,

Do you remember when I did my student teaching and wouldn't talk to you in the lounge?  That felt so good- finally I didn't have to pretend I had an ounce of respect for you.

Susan

thirteen, thirteen, thirteen

1. how am i supposed to set up prek, enter 2000 books into a computer system, and teach 14 classes in 20 hours a week?
   
2. is it ever going to be warm?  
   
3. i wish i had a cup of coffee right now.
   
4. if the dog is going to be home all day why can't he learn to clean?
5. why does the husband get annoyed when i make the same mistakes he makes?
6. will my bedroom ever look nice?
7. why are there never any clean towels?
8. i am freaked out by cats now- perhaps owning a demon cat turned me.
9. union street soapworks makes the best soap.
10. i am going to clean house tomorrow- and it better stay that way for 12 hours!  well, ok, 12 minutes- and i mean it!
11. so. tired. of. winter.
12. hmph!
13. saw my third grade picture today- what a fruit i was!  middle row, second from left- i am dressed as a little house on the prairie freak.

13 / Thursday

1. Bakugan was a bigger hit than I could have ever imagined.

2. I am SO not ready for this weekend.

3. Come on, spring!!!!!!!!!

4. Craft fair is tomorrow..... I am so not ready for it.

5. I need to shop for Zachary's party- goodies bags, food, etc.

6.  Diet Dr. Pepper- that is what I want in my Easter basket.......

7.  ...right next to the jelly beans......

8. ...and the peeps.

9. Helen really likes the Batman toys that Zachary got for his birthday.

10. I secretly like the free credit report commercials.

11. Life is beginning to stress me out.

12. I am so glad teacher's get off for spring break and summer vacation!

13. The laundry is piled up again- that is how I know it is Thursday.

Happy Birthday, Zachary!

I need to make cupcakes, but the presents are bought- Legos and Bakughan (is that how it is spelled?) junk.  And of course, he is sick.  He was fine all day- then at about 6:30 he laid down on the couch and fell asleep.  He feels warm, but not super fevery.  It is weird and creepy- I have not seen him sick enough to lay down and stop playing in literally years- about 4 to be precise.  But if he is sick tomorrow, he will have spent 3 of 6 birthdays SICK.  First, second and sixth.  In fact, I was worried I would have  to cancel his  first birthday party.  We'll see in the morning if he is too sick to go to school, but I am thinking he probably won't go.

He has also changed his mind about his party cake- he wants a tie dye cake.  He said he wanted a cake with all the colors on it and I asked if he meant a rainbow and he said no, like a shirt.  He doesn't want the cake to look like a shirt, though, just colorful.  So now I have to change gears and figure out how to make frosting look tie dyed.  He also has requested squid to be served at his party.  Not Cheetos or pizza- squid.

In other news, Helen was put on a 10 and under softball team.  There are a few that are her age, but about half the team is 4th and fifth grade.  She will be pitched to by a girl rather than by the coach.  The up side is that she will not play with kindergartners, something I am glad about.  She comes up to my chin (that is about 52 inches tall) and weighs as much as two kindergartners!   Plus, she can hit.  Hard (right, Jackie?).

I Should be Working

but I am not. I am trying to figure out craft fair nonsense, plus how to decorate a Batman cake. Thankfully, Zachary says he just wants the "Batman sign", not actual Batman (because eating his face would be weird, obviously). But I am not as talented as some people would like to believe. And the downside, that no one ever considers, is that when you use figurines or toys to decorate the cake- the other children want the toys, much to the birthday boy's dismay. So, I am thinking shades of blue background with the bat in yellow and outlined in black. Sheet cake, of course. Hopefully it will be better than the jaundiced pirate I made last year!

Oh Yeah!

Pre K is full!  There are officially 20 kids enrolled.  So those of you who wondered WHY we are having pre K- 20 X $4,500= $90,000.  

The coolest part is that 3 of them are there because of me.  I am flattered!

THURSDAY HAPPY DANCE!!!!!

1. We have a whopping 17 kids registered for preK.

2. I just sold a bunch pf craft fair booths.

3. I need to grade papers.

4. Today is David's birthday- Happy 42, hon!  You're old.

5. The St. Patrick's Dinner at school is going to be fun.

6. Easter is just around the corner!

7. I want to go see a movie, still (I haven't gone to one yet)

8. If navy is the "new black", why can't I find shoes?

9. I need to take Ozzy to the vet.

10.  Homework is driving me crazy.

11. I think Helen has ADHD.

12. Zachary really needs a haircut.

13. I need to request Helen's teacher for next year......

Dear Lady,

Dear Lady at the Pool,

I know you're probably quite proud of you tattoos.  They are very elaborate and must have taken a great deal of skill and time.  However, do really think that having the word "BITCH" emblazoned upon your right shoulder blade was the best idea?  Just askin'?

Me

really?

ok, so i am addicted to facebook and am remembering stuff that has been sitting in some cobweb covered corner of my brain. and i am realizing what a small world it is. somewhere in all of this i found an old boyfriend. his page is not set to private and i have read all of his wall. now for some background.....

my freshman year i dated m... one night i called m... and his room mate b... answered the phone and said that m... was out with another girl, etc. etc. i got mad and broke up with m... fast forward several months and b... calls and asks me out (he later admitted stealing the number from m...). b... and i start dating. this lasted 3 or 4 months, the whole time b... claiming that m... hated me, had been cheating on me- the whole nasty business. well, on a trip to savannah to visit my friend, i realize what a pompous and pretentious snot b... is. immediately after this trip, just as i was unable to tolerate b.. at all, i met someone and broke up with b... to date him. b... actually sent me all my belongings COD! can you believe that crap? i drove to his fraternity house to give his things back and he freaking mails mine and doesn't even cover the postage.

the guy i dumped him for? married him. then found out that all the things b.... told me about m... was a total lie. what did i learn from reading b...'s wall? well, he is still a pretentious, pompous snot. moral of the story- better to have married and divorced k... than to have ended up with b....... YUCK! add him to the "can't believe i went there" column.

AFTERTHOUGHT- the bastard kept my Official Preppy Handbook, dammit. i need that back, you douche.

Single mom again

David just left for Texas.  I really do hate it when he goes out of town.  Three days of the kids by myself.  We might go to the mall later- I need to find navy blue shoes.  If I bribe them with Rita's, maybe they will behave.  I hate the mall.

I need to finish the pile of laundry and maybe get some things done in my craft room, too.  I hate that it has been so long since I have crafted.  I like making things, but find myself wasting too much time on the computer these days.

I need a new name

Sounds stupid, I know.  But my mother in law is Sue, the office lady at school is Susie, the youth lady is Sue, the Spanish teacher is Susan, I am Susan.  I could go with a nickname, but I hate Sue for myself, plus that won't help.  There is already a Susie (and I am NOT a Susie).  I used to be called Sus (rhymes with sues), but that sounds weird as a name, especially with Spitzer.  I need a nickname or something that isn't too weird- I don't want people to think I am having an identity crisis or going crazy (both are possibilities, as I am tired of being called the wrong name).  I get called Sue about a million times a day.  That and Suzanne.  I don't answer because it is not my name- not being snotty- I just assume you are talking to someone else, like my mother in law, and not me.   ARGGGGG! Help.  

To Do List

1. Zachary's party invitations

2. Craft fair mailing

3. Clean my bedroom

4. Laundry

5. Ironing

Do I sound like Cinderella or what?  When is the ball and where is my fairy Godmother?

Thursday- the new Friday!

Does that make Tuesday my hump day?

1. Hard to believe it is Thursday already.

2. I need to get organized.

3. Wonder who will be my aide next year (that is the only thing I hate about teaching preschool- I have had great aides, and I have had bad ones- they can ruin your whole vibe).

4. I need a snow day all to myself- make tea, put on some soup and watch an old movie (instead of "mom, can i have-----?, "ewww- that soups smells like poop" and "can i watch something i want to watch?")

5. Flip flops!   So ready for flip flops.

6. When will I find out if we can join the pool this year?

7.  Will need new bathing suit- do they make turtle neck, all over control, under wired suits with sleeves to hide my wiggle arms, chicken neck and wobbly bits?  Maybe I can get one of those circa 1914 suits.......the one to the right would work, i could work that hat.....

8. Still wishing my house would clean it self....

9. It's going to be 70 degrees this weekend- woot, woot!

10.  Can I teach the dog to fold the laundry?

11. In shock- Helen wanted THIRDS of cauliflower at dinner tonight.

12.  I need to read more.

13.  I am happy I don't have to make lunches tomorrow- it is a half day.

What I did Like About College....

From a previous post it may sound as if I didn't like Brenau.  Not true.  I had some wonderful friends, sorority sisters and teachers.  The bullies were very few in number, but- wow!  They really affected me.  

I had some wonderful sisters and friends- some of them I have gotten back in touch with via facebook.   Some of them, I still want to be "when I grow up".  Amazing women who do great things, whether in their jobs or raising their families.  I just didn't want to leave the impression that Brenau and Alpha Chi Omega were bad experiences- they were not.  The only thing I'd change if I could go back is I wouldn't have been so sensitive.

"The Green Thing".....

has a new home!  It is now home to Kit, Ruthie and all their personal gear, along with a gazillion plastic animals.  Helen generously offered to take the green thing into her room.   It actually doesn't look bad in her room, with the pink walls.  I'll post a picture when I get around to it, along with the living room and the bathroom I finished redecorating back in November!  Thank you, Helen, for helping me keep something I really like.

more ah ha moments

I was only 17 when I went to college.  I very, very immature 17.  Brenau was something out of a dream for me; it held such promise and hope.  Unfortunately, I was ill equipped to cope with the real world outside of Covington.  I could blame my parents for this, but in reality, how were they to know- they had never left our cow town for more than the occasional vacation.   I was just not prepared for the journey.

I came from a small town where some families had more than us, and most had less.  As long as your jeans didn't come from Patrick's feed and seed, or your shoes from Harper's Five and Dime, you were pretty safe from ridicule.  Most people had either known each other since first grade, or they were kin.  I went to a private women's college in the foothills of North Georgia.  Many of the students came from money.  Old money.  In Atlanta.  Some of the girls had that understated style that comes with having grown up privileged.  I don't mean ultra hip designer clothing, I mean very preppy.  The pearls were real and probably were a gift for graduation or debutante parties.  They may have belonged to great grandmother.......  The purses were Gucci, the luggage was Louis Vuitton.  The cars were nice and usually a gift from Daddy.  Not many had a father that crawled under houses and put antennas on top of houses all day.  Not many had mothers that sewed, worked a garden and "put up" food for the winter.  Those that did pretended that they didn't.

That didn't make them better than me, just very different.  Some of them were spoiled.  And some of them were just plain mean.  I didn't understand them, and I still really don't.  My mistake is this- I let a handful of people there make me feel ashamed to be me.  I felt weird and ostracized.  Suddenly my quirky style and grand ideas were items of ridicule.  Believe me, I did get my share of teasing for it in high school, but I knew who my real friends were and they accepted me- quirks and all.  These girls, who I thought were better and smarter than me, found it funny to belittle me, take advantage and, when I was down, kick me.  I have been remembering a lot of things lately- things that I had buried deep inside the recesses of my brain.  But now that I remember, maybe I can begin to take myself back.  I have buried it for 20 years.  I could even say it has haunted me and made me less sure of myself, afraid of being laughed at.  Now I see it for what it was.  They were bullies.  Maybe they were jealous of me, maybe they just really didn't like me, but no matter what the reason, they were just plain mean people.  I'll bet they have not changed.  I hope for their sake, and their children's, they have.  But I doubt it.

Would I change things if I could go back?  Yeah, who wouldn't?  That doesn't mean that I would change my current life- I kinda like the grown up I have become.  I have great kids, a husband who loves me and a job I like.  I would, however, love to have a conversation with my 17 year old self to say- "This is how it works, little girl.  No one can put you down if you don't let them.  You have qualities they never will possess- don't let them take that away.  Don't let them make you not like YOU."

Thirteen for Thursday (a day later)

1.  Getting my hair cut on Friday and going to lunch with Erin

2. Need to get my grades into the computer- why can't I ever get this done in a timely fashion?

3. My glasses need to be cleaned

4. I hate the fact that my house is torn apart still

5. Spring needs to hurry up

6. I want to go to the movies and I don't even really care what I see

7. I gave up soda for Lent and I am cranky

8. I actually only have about 1 load of laundry to do today- rare for Friday

9. The kids think I hired a maid to vacuum bedrooms and change the sheets today- that is how I got Helen to pick up her toys

10. My feet really need a pedi before flip flop season begins

11. The beach is calling me

12. Zachary's birthday party is not going to plan itself

13. The craft fair is driving me crazy

Unfair Division of Labor

To: Husband

From: Me

Re: Morning Duties

As it stands, I currently perform the following jobs on school mornings:

haul laundry basket to the basement

transfer laundry from washer to dryer

start new load of laundry

haul laundry upstairs

fold laundry

make coffee

unload dishwasher

make lunches/snacks for kids

put together any items needed for after school

carry laundry upstairs

shower and get myself dressed

make breakfast

let dog out

get kids dressed

if it is trash day- make sure trash cans are emptied

pack up any school items

pile everything by the door

clean up breakfast dishes

find shoes

do my hair and makeup

try to get children to the door before 7:30

You currently perform the following duties:

open kids' doors and tell them to get up (if I haven't already)

take a shower

get dressed

get on computer

drink coffee

drive kids to school

As you can see, you really don't do much to help with the children in the morning. This was understandable before I began work. However, next school year I will not only be working 40 hours per week, but will have to have the kids out of the house 20 minutes earlier than the present time. I refuse to get up any earlier than I already do, and I can only do so much at night. Due to this, you will be required to get up earlier yourself and help me. Please let me know which responsibilities you would like to assume. Please keep in mind that I also hold responsibility of afternoon activities, all housekeeping duties, kids' homework and any school papers, shopping for groceries and household supplies, most of the cooking, clearing the kitchen after meals, tucking kids in, reading to them, cleaning the gerbils' cage, and doling out required medicines. Add to this the school things that don't get done at school- IE entering grades into the computer, grading papers and lesson plans. You bathe Zachary and clean up after Ozzy. If a fair division or duty is not established, I will have no choice but to refuse to do them until resolution.

Sincerely,

The Wife

Living room........

the new carpet is here!!!!!!!!!!  David rearranged the furniture.   I kinda like it, but we will lose two pieces of furniture and some storage.  Coincidentally enough, they are the two things he hates- the green thing and the tv stand.  The green thing is NOT leaving my house.  Period.  I bought it in Boone, NC and it traveled to Tennessee, South Carolina, Georgia and Maryland.  It is not leaving.  I just don't know what to do with it or the things that were stored in it (board games and some large serving pieces).  Also, this means the fish tank will stay in the dining room.  Yuck.  We have had fish since Helen was a baby and I am so tired of the gosh darn fish.

Mondays......

used to be my favorite day of the week- a return to routine and ordinary.  That was when I didn't work.  Now I have that Sunday night panic that I haven't cleaned, washed, planned enough for the upcoming week.  I hate that feeling.  I need to come up with a better plan of attack.  Of course, it doesn't help that the past two weekends have involved moving everything from the craft room for the furnace guys and ripping up carpet for the carpet guys.  ARG!

I do better when I have routines- planned times to get things done- I need to shift my schedule cuz the old one ain't working......

Shopping Trip

I went shopping yesterday.  For $140 I bought:

2 pairs of trousers

1 pair of capris

2 blouses

2 camis

1 t shirt

1 silver heart necklace

Not bad.

Battered Women

Unless you live under a rock, you have probably at least heard about Chris Brown and Rihanna.  This report indicates that the police have leaked pictures of her face to the press.  The girl needs her privacy right now, and she needs time to process her thoughts and heal.  That said, I do hope that she decides to speak out in the future.  She can do so much good if she does.  I hear young girls who think it is OK to be abused by their boyfriends and it makes me sad.  They think that such treatment means he really cares, or that they deserve it.  If they see that this beautiful, talented girl was abused and says it is NOT OK, maybe they will listen.  

As our country is facing greater and greater crisis and turmoil, this problem is going to get worse.  And most girls and women do not Rihanna's resources to get out and get help.  This issue is close to my heart- please take the time to find out more and perhaps, help someone.  

That said- if you are the kind of person to make false allegations so that you can get a leg up against your ex-spouse, then shame on you.  You know who you are.