Bullies

have been in the news a lot lately. We have all been touched in some way by a bully. Whether it was yourself as a victim, or your child, a friend or cousin. You may have even been the bully at some point. It is sad and wrong and we all know it.

But I am going out on a limb here. Are we as a culture encouraging it? Kids are not learning social skills, our media rich and too busy way of life does not promote interaction, empathy or unity. Too many are self absorbed and seem to not notice the people around them. Now there is a huge focus on the terrible things that bullies do, giving them attention and power. There lies the problem. You can create rules and laws to punish bullies and try to prevent the torment. But you cannot make people be nice. Some just get pleasure from being mean.

The second piece of the problem is that we do not want our children to have a difficult time. We have protected them from everything that may hurt their self-esteem to the point that some have not developed a sense of self-preservation. These children become victims. I would like to see more "anti-victim" programs. Instead of trying to teach kids to not bully, teach them to stick up for themselves and their friends. To walk away. To think that if I do not react, the mean guy has no power. Avoid being the victim. If you are with a bully, tell them you cannot be friends with them. Stop giving bullies the power and the tools to hurt others. Your child cannot be cyber bullied if there are limits to internet and cell phones.

It is hard to do, it really is. Bullying is human nature and will not go away. But you can take away their power.