Goodbye 2007

Just got back from Georgia. This was the first time I have been "home" for Christmas since 1995. I did miss seeing my sister- she went to South Dakota. But I did get to see the new babies- Rider and Allyssa. That was worth the drive. We made it home in record time yesterday- 12 hours. It rained most of the way. We had to stop at South of the Border going down and eat at Waffle House coming back. Zachary didn't eat the whole time we were there, but ate all of his waffle and half of my grilled cheese at Casa de Waffle. I kept saying that in the car and guess what- they actually had "Casa de Waffle" printed on the hot sauce label. I will write more soon. I miss blogging.

New Year's Resolutions for 2008
Eat more veggies
Drink more water
Do more things for myself

Turning 40

Today something hit me as I was leaving Target (where else would I be?). I am going to be 40 soon. In a matter of weeks. How do I feel about that? Well, today, at peace.

You see, turning 30 was awful. I was living in an apartment 700 miles from "home", I had a piece of shit car, a job I hated and no kids. My sister in law had just had a baby and was I ever jealous. I kept thinking "is this ALL there is? Will I ever be happy or settled down?" I felt sad, overwhelmed and, well, just plain OLD.

I realized today that age is really a number. I still listen to "cool" music, I could have a tatoo if I really wanted one, I am comfortable with my style (most of the time) and who I am. My car is an improved piece of shit and I own my house. As a SAHM, I am not allowed to hate my job, but the truth is I am completely satisfied. Raising these monkeys is a full time career and I don't take it lightly. I just hope my kids remember me as the mom who read to them in bed, made chocolate strawberry soy milk and cupcakes from scratch. The one who wore cool shoes and jewlery and had some fun. The one who taught them respect for ALL God's creatures, whether they have 2, 4, 6 or 8 legs.

With 40 has come peace. I finally feel confident to have an opinion and wise enough to know when NOT to give it. The only people that I care what they think of me are both still shorter than me And that is actually a very good feeling. Am I ready to shout it from the mountain tops that I am 40, hear me roar? Oh, hell no, but maybe I won't keep saying I'm only 36.

More Junk

Yet another recall for China........ a bunch of tops and tin sand pails have been recalled. And these were sold in specialty shops, not "dollar" stores. Kudos to Walmart for announcing they were going to be more diligent about items sold in their stores. But how about this, instead of buying a bunch of "cheap" toys, why not elect to buy fewer, higher quality toys.

I am planning to make some things to go with Helen's baby doll. She also wants a cradle. I am thinking perhaps a vintage wooden one from Ebay or a locally made one. I am not sure about Zachary, but I am thinking of a few things, including real sports equipment, not Little Tykes. Maybe a pass to Port Discovery. In our overall guilt about not being with our children, as a nation we are buying them more stuff they don't even have time to enjoy. Instead of working over time to buy lead paint and plastic, why don't we refurbish some older toys. Make something. Buy tickets to a basketball game or passes to the local zoo. These do make good gifts and the memories will last longer than the novelty of a pile of toys. Less is indeed more.

We don't need "more" at a cheaper price. This is misleading, people. We are spending more than ever trying to save money. This doesn't just apply to toys. It applies to furniture, food, cars, electronics..... The list could go on and on. Don't fall for it.

AMEN...

http://www.whitetrashmom.com/whitetrashmom/2007/08/white-trash-mom.html
There are so many ideas in my ADHD riddled brain that sometimes I have trouble getting my point accross. This summed it up. Sometimes I feel like I have forgotten myself, but see that I do have a reason for being "low key" and bland. This explains the "why" of it.

The similar thought applies to church. Yes, I get it that God loves us and doesn't care if we have nice clothes. I also get it that we are visiting "His" house and as a guest, I owe it to Him to brush my teeth and wear a clean shirt. My daughter doesn't wear shorts and flip flops, my son wears a shirt with a collar on it. I am not trying to put on airs, but I also don't want to stand out because of a lack of respect to others. Being tacky makes others uncomfortable and that, my friends, is bad manners. I hear you "what about conformity? shouldn't you just be yourself?" Well, yes. But if "yourself" makes babies cry and forces people to avoid you, then you might need to reconsider who "you" are.

First day of School, Last day of Summer

What have I done all summer? See previous post. More of same. I am sorry to see it end, but relieved at the same time. I know there is not a mom out there that doesn't relate. I am tired of pretending that I am Julie McCoy, Cruise Director. What would I like to do today, you ask? First I would like a massage from Sven, followed by some rum concoction on the Ledo Deck. Then Captain Jack can have his way with me....... What am I really doing today? Washing and ironing ("would it be too much trouble to IRON some of my shirts?") clothes and getting ready for the first week of school. Nothing says I Love You like a closet full of uniforms! Oh, well, maybe I can watch Captain Jack while I iron.

What da Hell?

Sopranos finale- what the hell was that? I'm ticked off about the "fade" to black. I thought our cable went out and started screaming at the TV! About the last 10 minutes I said to David "nothing is getting wrapped up". Boy, was that the truth! Let down big time. Boo to HBO.

Long time, no post!

Well, never let it be said I am not an idiot. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to post once blogger switched everything! Holy frioles, Skippito!

Any way, summer has officially begun at Camp Mom. Helen gave up first grader status at 11 AM on June 7. She has been promoted to cool Second Grader. Hard to believe that my baby is growing up. She is reading "fluently" and has mastered math "independently" as her report card claims. She participates with "enthusiasm" (what? are we still talking about Miss Thang, here?) in music and gym. She also has earned her first stripe on the ole karate belt.

Here is what I have been up to: field trips, preschool, driving small children around, mopping up messes, washing load after load of clothes and refereeing backseat fights at 70 mph. Sound exciting? Yeah, right. Gotta take a shower and go to a baseball game- for my 40 year old "first child".

Happy 2007

Happy New Year. This is it. Everyone makes resolutions on January 1, so here are mine. This is the year I take care of me. I have spent the past 7 years growing, nursing, nurturing and otherwise doing everything for 2 little people (and one big one). I know that I am at risk of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, due to family history. I really don't need much more of a wake up call. My father died last year and he was a mess due to his lifestyle. I have spent the past 10 months trying to change some things. I am eating way healthier than ever, but I am not pleased with the results. I still have a long way to go and I am not getting enough exercise. SO, this is it. I am getting rid of junk food in this house. Not that we had much to begin with, but I realize this family cannot have it around. I am already vegetarian with no dairy, but I need to cut out refined sugar (God help me there). BUT I did it once before and felt great, so why not do it again? Sugar is not my friend. I know this. Even Ozzy isn't getting enough exercise, so I need to make sure he gets walked every day. I am not sure how to squeeze it in, but I have to. Wish me luck.

I am cooking the traditional New Year's Day meal today. Black eyed peas are in the Crock Pot (my Christmas gift), and I have collards, corn bread and sweet potatoes to cook up. Maybe I'll bake some apples, too. Yum. And Happy Birthday to my wonderful niece, Heather! She is 29 today.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done...

I think I am finished shopping. I say "think" because there is always something else. I did stockings tonight. I still want to get Ozzy a new collar and tag, but that can be an outing after Christmas if I don't get to it. Helen loves PetSmart. And now I need to finish the teacher gifts and the kids' Christmas cards. That shouldn't be too tough- but I just cannot ever seem to get anything done!

Any way, I am feeling very sorry for myself tonight and I wish I felt a little more appreciated. A hug and a "thanks" would go far right now.

Holiday fun

We just put up the tree. I still have 4 totes of stuff to deal with, but hey- it will get done, grasshopper. My fear now is that the dog is going to eat/knock over/demolish the tree. The cat has already decided that BEHIND the tree is a nifty place to hide. Too bad the dog KNOWS where he is. We were going to buy a real tree this year. Then we found out that a prelit, metal and plastic tree that folds up like an umbrella costs 1/3 the price of a real tree of the same size. Who knew? Way to go, 8 year old Asians- you make a great tree. So, Walmart won. But I didn't actually go to the store and buy it, I would have prefered another store, but that is just me.
On the shopping front....

What the hell?! Yep, now your 6 year old can sport a tat. What's next Lee Press On Piercings? I think I'll get a fake belly ring for my kid for Christmas. To go with her tongue piercing and thong underwear. Who comes up with this junk and better still, who the hell buys this CRAP for a CHILD? I am not prude, in fact I have a soft spot for long haired tattoed men, but that is another life....... My CHILD doesn not need this. What ever happened to riding your bike and playing with Hot Wheels? When I was young Barbie was NOT a prostitute....have you SEEN BLING BLING BARBIE? Well, here she is....

Damn people- have you lost your minds? Parents- you have the right not say NO to the junky toys and clothes in the store. Complain, say I am not buying that. One day, your kids will thank you. I promise.

This is my dog

Ozzy is a 3 year old Siberian Husky. He was rescued by us in August of 2005. He was very under nourished and had separation issues and was afraid of loud noises. He still doesn't like a lot of noise, so we allow him to retreat to outside when the kids overwhelm him. He is such a good boy. He loves kids, chew toys that squeak (although they only last about 5 minutes), peanut butter and chicken livers. He hates cantaloupe, raw carrot and bananas. He also likes to run beside David's bike and pull people on the scooter. He chases balls but doesn't bring them back.

Merry Christmas

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This is Helen's Christmas card. She used a varity of media- cut paper, rubber stamp and ink, glitter pen, and marker. As you can see she is in the spirit! We are also making small matchbook style cards which hold packets of Reindeer Food. I am not sure about teacher gifts yet, but I think we will make a few glass bead ornaments and some homemade goodies.

I am pretty much done with Santa shopping. They are not getting a lot, but they are getting what they have asked forHelen is getting Kit from American Girl, along with some clothes and an easel. Zachary is getting the Shake N Go Racetrack and the Off Road set.


I'm also done with my nieces, nephew and their mom, my mom and my sister. Everyone else is hubster's problem! Why am I still stressed? I think it is because we don't have a tree yet.

Ain't no other man

I am in love. I've always thought it cliche, but I am head over heels in love with a much younger man. The way he looks at me and thinks I am beautiful and talented and perfect. His biggest disappointments in life are when he makes me sad. I have shown him a whole new world and taught him almost everything he knows. So what if I am old enough to be his mother. Oh, yeah, whoops, I AM his mother! And one day he will no longer love me the way he does now and it will break my heart. One day there will be smelly socks and Playboys under his bed and a girl named Amber calling him after school, but for now I am thankfully the love of his life. I really think the mother/son thing has a lot to do with the fact that no other man has ever or ever will love me this much; no other woman will ever love him this much. It is that simple. And watch out, Amber, you'll have to try awfully hard to make me think you're good enough for him!

blah

Ten years

I've been married ten years, as of the 16th of November. The in laws were sick, so we took our 2 kids to dinner with us. Actually, they were very well behaved. Not exactly a romantic evening, mind you, but still very pleasant. We still went out alone this weekend- I got 2 nights out!

We went to Fells Point and had Indian food (a great compromise for the vegetarian/omnivore couple). I had Aloo Gobhi (curried cauliflower and potato) and some awesome samosas. He had some poor mammal. We followed that up with a couple of beers at Bertha's (Eat Bertha's Mussels), where we met a guy in town from Atlanta for the Falcons game (they did lose, by the way).

So, that was my anniversary weekend- not too exciting, but then again being married that long has its pros and cons and "predictable" falls into both categories. I have been WITH someone since I was 18 (not the same someone, but still). I met my husband the day after my divorce was final. Funny, on the day I divorced my first husband, I picked him up and we drove to court. Then we ate a late breakfast at Shoney's and went to Best Buy to get a new VCR for me (he did take everything with a plug on it). That night we made a stir fry, ran into someone he met in the Navy and watched a movie on my new VCR. The next day I met my now husband. I never said my life was normal. Thankfully he was a patient man who tolerated it, but didn't understand WHY I continued to go hiking with my ex. He trusted me and let me have a friendship with someone who was important to me. My first husband and I were better friends than spouses. Once he couldn't tell me what to do we got along great. I think it was a relief for both of us.

My husband is currently downstairs playing a softball video game with both kids on our ancient PlayStation (I think we might be the only people in Maryland with the original PlayStation). I am sure he has a cat sitting on him and a dog on his feet. This is one reason I love this man.

Another day, another sinus infection, a dying cat

Yes, I am working on what is most likely my 5th infection of the year. I am so tired of sinus pain. I think this is the mold allergy. After the leaves fall, it rains. About 17 minutes later, my nose starts to drip. At least it is not 80 degrees out today, too.

My wonderful cat, Luci, is dying. She has a hyperactive thyroid and given that she is almost 17, there is little the vet can do for her. She is beginning to shut down, forgetting the litter box, sleeping in strange places. I wanted a cat very much when I got her. I was living in Summerville, SC at the time. I went to the pet store to get rabbit food and fell in love with this kitten. Ended up getting her free with a bag of cat food. I named her Luci because my then husband thought Luci was an awful name for a child (it is actually quite popular NOW, not in 1990 when Brittany was all the rage). Luci was quite the cat. She loved to sleep in the laundry basket and on my pillow. She chased wads of paper and would even bring them back. She also loved ribbon. The mailbox key was on a silky red ribbon and she really liked to hide the key. Also the box springs to our bed had a tiny hole in it and Luci would get inside and thump around (very freaky when one is sleeping). She was a fun kitten. Then my sailor man shipped out for the Persian Gulf and war. I was in a bind and had to move back to Georgia to finish my last class for my degree (see previous post regarding worst birthday- nothing sucks more than being alone, with your honey off in a war zone, and finding out you really didn't graduate from college AFTER being fired from a video store and failing the eye exam for the now expired driver's license... did I mention the very bad haircut?) SO, my father, who hated cats, said no way to the cat. My sister agreed to take her in. In transit to Georgia, a can of paint fell on the pet taxi and Luci was now a lovely shade of Vanilla Creme. She ran away from my sister's house, turning up under the porch after a few days. I took her back to Charleston with me after I finished school. A few years later, she ran away from home and came back missing her Genuine Faux Diamond collar and a chunk of her tail. She never told me what happened, but she has never set foot outside (except to move to GA, and then MD) again. She never liked kids, so once she realized the that THING we brought home in a basket was in fact ALIVE, she started living under the bed. She recently came out and started to socialize, let the kids pet her and torment the dog. And we have noticed that she is getting feeble and very skinny (although she has always maintained her girlish figure). We know the end is coming, but we don't be the ones to end it for her. I am waiting for the right time to say goodbye. It will be hard, not to just say goodbye to a companion I have known my entire adult life, but to see the last remaining bit of my former life, my former self, disappear.

Cars

No, not the movie, but in general. Hubby just accepted a new job. This means a much bigger paycheck, but a loss of the company car. Which means I am back to driving the old wagon. I hate that car. With every fiber of my being. And it occurred to me that I have never, in the 24 years that I have been driving had no say in what I drive. None, zip, zilch. I am 39 years old and have never one time picked out my own car, even though I have picked up the tab. So far in my life I have driven:

1984-1985- Red Chevy Chevette (1984 model)- totaled in accident
1985-1986- punished for accident
1986-1988- ugly blue Cutlass (1982) previously owned by my dad's "friend"- sold when I got married
1988-1990- Ford Escort (1988)- long story
1990-1991- Toyota HiLux pickup (1974)- this was a gem- paid $500 cash for it- it was held together by tape and had a washcloth for a gas cap; sold it shortly after the single worst birthday EVER
1991-1993- Red Honda Prelude (1984)- didn't pick it out, but I LOVED this car, sold in another long story
1993-1994- Colt Vista station wagon (unsure of year); Yes, I traded my Honda for this (?)
1994-1996- Ford Probe (1991), bought at an incredibly high interest rate after the Vista pretty much died; I got to keep the payments after my divorce (lucky me) BUT it was totaled after a head on collision (second wreck) , after I remarried and bought....
THE 1979 MG Midget- this was a cool car. BUT you would think something called a Midget would accommodate a short (5 foot nothing) driver. Uh, no. I had to pull myself forward with the steering wheel to push the clutch in and couldn't see over the dash. This was bought with money received to repair the Probe after its first wreck.
1996- 2002- Volvo sedan- this was a good car; paid cash for it and drove it til it fell apart, but I had never laid eyes on it until hubby picked me up at the airport in it.
2002-2003- Ford Escort wagon (1989, I think) this was a free car- family friend sold it, the buyer abandoned it and we got it from impound for $100.
2003-2006- Ford Taurus wagon (1991)- folks I have almost divorced a second time over this lovely vehicle. I am about to have the privilege of driving it again as my new Buick will become hubby's work car until we get around to buying another car. Which could be never, knowing my husband's propensity for not fixing what is not broken. He has a real Band aid approach to life and doesn't seem to understand the stress sitting on the side of a road with 2 kids in a broken down car can produce.

OK, I am done venting. For now, any way. Wait until he buys another Taurus....... I may be in court yet. It's OK, he can have the kids, just give me the dog.

More Recipes

OK, so Big Yellow Box didn't go so great, but the food was good. The Spinach dip was great.

1 lb package of silken firm tofu, drained and blotted
1 pkg frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed
1/4 Nayonaise
3 cloves garlic, crushed
Crazy Mixed up salt, to taste

Crumble tofu in food processor and puree til very smooth. Add remaining ingredients, making sure to not mush up the spinach too much. Season to taste. Serve with veggies, chips or crackers.

And, am I the only Republican vegetarian? Surely this cannot be true.

Big Yellow Box and Vegan snacks

OK, so now my goal in life is to become the vegetarian Paula Deen. And I am hosting a Big Yellow Box party tomorrow. That said, check out the menu:

Chocolate truffles (my answer to Helen's "I miss fudge")
Mushroom canapes
Apple bundles
Crudites with creamy spinach dip
Sparking water

I am also filling our scary monster head candy dish with Dots, Smartees and Sour Patch kids. All vegan. Here is the truffle recipe.

AllerFriendly AND Vegan Chocolate Truffles

2/3 cup dark raisins
2/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate (Sunspire is good, but Giant store brand is also vegan, and cheaper)
2/3 cup nut butter (I use IM Healthy Soy nut butter or Cashew butter, depending)

Mix it all up in the food processor. Transfer to a bowl and chill at least an hour. Roll 1 inch balls and, if desired, roll the balls in jimmies or cocoa (I use jimmies to be FESTIVE). Store in an airtight container in the fridge. Makes roughly 2 dozen.

I feel Stupid

I got an email from ex hubby the other day. He has gone on to finish his degree in geology (with honors). He is currently on a research trip in Antartica and working on his masters. http://antarctic-osu.blogspot.com/
As you can see, this makes me feel very dumb spending my day folding laundry and driving kids around in my old car.