down to the wire

Tomorrow is new teacher orientation. I am excited and scared to death at the same time. I have never worked and tried to juggle my very own spawn before. It makes me nervous. I know I am going to get no housework help, and when I do I will have to lower my standards considerably.

I am so darn stressed out. I need someone to tell me it will be fine, that I will do a great job because I always do. But compliments in my life have always been few and far between. If I have ever been called amazing, special, wonderful or any of those other fabulous adjectives, no one ever did it in my presence. What I want more than anything is to hear it from a certain man in this house. Instead, I get defied on every turn. It is like having a third child. I am overwhelmed by everything right now and it stinks. I cannot advance with my organizing project because the stupid locker wouldn't fit in my car and now I have to take David's SUV over to get it. But the back of his car is full of junk because he was too tired last night to get stuff out and that is the story of my life. Where to people put all their crap and why do I seem to have more than most people? I just want to scream right now. I just need everyone to go away for a day. I have had at least one kid up my butt since May and I cannot get anything done with them in tow. Run out for a minute- can't, got to go to karate (I love it that they get to go, HATE it that I have to sit there 4 DAYS A FREAKIN' WEEK).... Stop somewhere after that, can't got to make dinner. After dinner, got to get everyone bathed and in bed. After that, too tired...... Now I'll have 2 kids' homework and sports added into the mix, plus me working. Although, to be fair, I have gone and done things with my kids during the day on most days since they were born, so it isn't like I spent hours every day cleaning and being a house frau. Still. Honestly, I am never going to get anything done if I just sit here and write......