Shopping

I have to go shopping. A lot of people find shopping fun ans therapeutic. I, however, am phobic. I think I might need hypnosis or a twelve step program- that is how much I hate shopping. I wasn't always that way- but now I don't have time, money or patience. I can never find anything that looks good on me and everything is always too long, except t shirts. Those are always too short and about 3 feet too wide. So I have all this fabric flappin' in the breeze while my fat roll is hanging out of the bottom. Cute. Did I mention that I am 5 foot nuthin? So if the Amazon that my jeans with 10 inches of excess leg was designed for wears a tshirt with the jeans, I am guessing the shirt bottom would come to just under her boobs. How did clothing people decide that cropped off t shirts would look good on anyone over a size 4, let alone sell them in PLUS sizes? If I was a size 4, however, I could actually buy a t shirt that is long and cut close to the body. Not 5 feet wide and 3 inches long. Here's is a hint to the powers that make women's clothes- don't make them WIDER with LONGER arms and keep the length in 1990 fashion. One cannot even tuck a shirt like that in without looking deformed.

Further more, just because a lady is over a size 12 does not mean that she has lost her mind and suddenly desires to wear sofa fabrics. Big flowers look good on no one. I do not want to look like the Queen Mother. Or Hyacinth Bucket (see photo). Nope, I am not looking forward to shopping. Shoes are even worse. Ever since giving birth, my feet have not been the same. I can no longer wear cute little heels. Everything is too narrow; if I get wide, my heel rubs. I can;t win. Plus any heel makes my arch and toes ache and I don't remember how to walk in them and end up stomping everywhere. Don't even get me thinking about pantyhose. Aren't those out of fashion? I know haven't worn "nude" hose since high school (drill team- we all had to wear "suntan" sheer energy). Maybe I will just miraculously lose 40 punds in the next week. That would simplify my life somewhat. I know how I want to look, but this spread around my middle is keeping me from it. The good news is, I really have dropped a few pounds recently. The shorts I bought at the beginning of the summer are too big (partly because I didn't take "stretch" into account when I bought them), but the jeans that did fit are beginning to fall down. We'll see- I have given up on ever just being thin. I would literally have to give up most food to get there, and anyone who knows me knows that would never happen. I like to eat and I am married to a guy who likes to eat and that is that. But a few sizes smaller would be sweet.